I found out my mum had advanced lung cancer a few weeks ago. Just after Christmas I spurred her on to go for that xray the doctor had recommended following weeks (months) of her going back and forth to the doctors with 'a virus' - their words.

It turned out she has lung cancer. Not just any old cancer, but small cell lung cancer. It's staged at T4N3M1A. That's pretty much the whole extent of the disease. Minus, they say, any metastases. But i'm unsure how they know that for sure as they haven't done a PET scan or any further exploratory tests than a basic CT. Add to that a pericardial effusion and a collapsed lung.

She's been prescribed an initial two cycle carboplatin/etoposide. It's helping hugely to alleviate symptoms and folowing an evaluative CT will probably continue for another couple of rounds. She doesn't know the extent of the disease and hasn't asked the 'right' questions at the appointment. I have, with the oncologist, in private. It seems she's happy living the rest of her life not knowing.

I know she wants it that way, but I'm finding it really hard to deal with. Knowing that she doesn't understand the extent of the cancer or that this is really one of the worst cancers to get prognosis-wise is really difficult.

I have the support I need to get through this, but I feel like my mum's breaking inside emotionally, not bearing to come to terms with what's happening to her. It's very difficult.

Are there any shared experiences out there?

Lee