Hi Nessbx, 

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum and can understand why you may be finding it difficult at the moment but I just wanted to pop by and let you know you're not alone. Many members have been in the same position with their parents and will really understand what you are feeling and going through right now and I'm sure they will post soon to offer their support and advice.

Stay strong Ness and remember that someone will always be here for you when you need them.

Kind Regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi nessbx I'm sorry 2 read about u mum it's so sad :( my mother is terminal with bowel cancer she 71 it happen so fast with us my mother doesn't want 2 know how long she got we just taken each day.I know exactly how u feel  I felt exactly like u that why I joined on here there so many people on her going through silmer sitioution as u and myself. If u just need chat I'm here take care .[[]]

thank you so much for the hug and so sorry to hear about your mum ,is she at home ?? how you coping ??  hard to get my head around all this , im not sure if mum knows is a couple of months as not sure if they have told her , she  never talks about love death or cancer so we have not spoke about it or we dont hug , she keeps saying do i no when she can go home , im like not till your sickness is better , im now on sick leave from work as there is so much to take in and sort , im crying one minuit ok the next angry and snapping the next , cant go back to see mum till wed as finances arnt brill and hubby got to work so only get brief updates off hospital , she had a little soup on thu night and wasnt sick not sure about last night , sorry if im waffling . please tell me your experances as iv no idea whats about to happen  xxx

Hi nessbx my mother at home my father do look after her we all do our bit as well all of us doesn't live far . 2 years my mother have been fighting bowel cancer when she had her op there was turmours when they removed them they spilled 1 and she had 2 have chemo. Chemo made her so Ill she had 6 rounds but it was getting 2 much she was in hospital for 1 month we thought we going 2 loss then. She came alright last July she went 4 scan routen check up she was told they found mass they didn't know if it was on her ovary or bowel it took them until October to tell my mother it was on her bowel. My mother had phone call from the hospital 2 say there oppointment been made I remember my mother telling us if she got 2 have treatment  she take anything but not the chemo she had b4 because she was so ill. Any way she went to the oppoinment with my father she sat there only be told that it was inoperable and there nothing they can do my mother was in shock the Doctor said 2 her have u spoke 2 anyone my said no only 2 make oppointment it was all up in the air. I remember the phone rang I could here it in my mothers voice that it was bad she told me there nothing they can do I put the phone down I was screaming :( I phoned my partner he came home we all went up mothers we sat there and cried my mother kept saying she don't want 2 die its heart breaking :( Christmas new year was so hard we went up my mothers 4 dinner it was killing me knowing is this was last Christmas new year went 2 see my mother we left that all I done is cry. 12 came new year I was screaming it's so hard. Some days I'm laughing then it hits me and I'm back crying seening my mother in pain she can't walk far it's horrible she looks so old :( my mother have had few problems she been in hospital with bleeding not from her bowel they give her hormone didn't work month or 2 went buy they give her tablet 2 stop the bleeding I been so angry with doctors the way she been treating. Then just b4 Christmas she was going out breath and coughing she had Doctor they told my mother her lungs where ok they if her inhaler 2 help her breath just after Christmas her breathing was getting worst and coughing she had Doctor  told her she had phenomenon on 1 lung they give her tablets. she had x Ray my mother waiting ages 4 result turned out she didn't have phenomenon she got fluid she on tablets.when my mother found that she terminal she sorted everything out she don't want 2 die in hospital or hospice she want 2 be at home. That was upsetting 2 here my mother then started writing letters 2 my baby who just turned 1 that killed me knowing she wouldn't be around 2 see him grow up :( so much have gone on we just living day 2 day with my mother she wants  everything 2 be normal that hard. I never seen my mother cry so much like she do and she also hugs as more and tells us she loves us that hurts :( sorry 4 rambling I send u friend request and we can chat more if u want take care x 

Hi nessbx hope u all ok thinking of u all take care x 

thank you so much for your reply , Im so sorry for your loss , i like you have googled everything as i too because iv got angiserty issues need to prepare myself , tuesday my mum moves from hospital to a nursing home9 miles from me instead of 120  she has been in hospital 8 weeks now and not seen her little home in those 8 weeks and will not again , its so hard ...

i feel like iv had to battle with finding a nursing home and going to look at a hospice which was reallly beautiful ,( really nice place to spend your last days if you know wot i mean the staff seem so nice ) also had to battle with the cost of transporting mum to her new home by ambulance at a cost of £300 iv not got that kind of money nor mum really . it all adds to the stress of dealing with knowing mums gonna die and making her time left more comfortable and happy ... 

im like you my dad passed away 8 years ago by heart attack never got chance to say bye ect and we also are not a huggy or i love you kind of family , which we havent spoke about the cancer .

i feel like im sitting on a bomb waiting for it to blow with the 2 to 3 months diagnosis , they said around 3 months on 6th jan so now neaer 2 months i suppose ... some days i look at mum and even though she has syringe driver for sickness and shes 4st 10 thin , she dont look like shes dieing its so not fair , at leased when she moves i will be able to see her every day not once a week , ent 3 times up to see her last week 720 miles im just excausted and not sleeping as trying to sort everything , even stressing today about getting a nice cushion for her room ... 

thinking of you and big hugs xxx

I'm so pleased your mum will be closer to you, it will make a real difference to you, because you tend to forget about you, making sure you are fed and get some sleep, so much easier said than done I know. And yes you are sitting on a timebomb, an emotional rollercoaster I called it which used to manifest itself in the most basic of everyday situations - my language became ever more colourful when driving, or someone queue jumping or even not having the right size nightdress in the shop for my mum. When my mum was in the hospice, I'd walk in one day and she'd be sitting up watching TV and the nurses would tell me she had eaten well, been to the loo and had a good nights sleep. Next day I'd go up and she'd be sleeping all day, had had a bad night and not eaten anything. Its a moving feast with twists and turns like no other. Your head will be like a washing machine and its a waiting game, a game you don't want to play but you are an essential part of.  And I can believe you stressing about the cushion because it is important to you and for you to demonstrate how much you care for and love your mum. Sendng you and every soul on this site my prayers and hugs, we are part of a group we never wanted to be a part of but when the time comes, desperately grateful to have people who truly understand the pain we feel. xx