I'm 27 and now 3 months pregnant with my first child. We have a big scan on Monday to see if the baby is healthy and on Tuesday we find out what treatments are available for my dad. I found out yesterday that he has pancreatic cancer, looks to be pretty advanced. They want to operate to take out his gall bladder, small intestines and see if they can remove some of the tumor on the top of the pancreas. 

He was in a mild car accident in October and went in for a check as he suddenly got jaundice and minor abdomen pain. He said his gall bladder was blocked so they put in a stent. Turns out he found out about the cancer then but didnt tell anyone. We had him over for Christmas and he had lost weight and had slight yellow in the whites of his eyes but otherwise looked healthy. He then had a whole day where he lay in bed exhausted- but played it off as his gall bladder stent being faulty. 

He went back home (a two hour flight from me) and saw his sisters for lunch in January. They say he lost more weight and the jaundice was back. His nails had gone purple and he couldnt eat or even sit comfortably. They all panciked. One confronted him and said 'is it cancer?' - he replied yes. 

My dad is such a proud man, he wont accept help or sympathy. Being in a different area I cant be there the way I want. My brother lives in Boston and feels even more helpless. We think that he knows what stage it is but doesnt want to tell us. I think he may also be in denial and trying to protect us. Given his symptoms we gather its not early. 

After his treatment appointment on Tuesday I'm hoping to know more and can fly there on weekends between work. 

I'm devasted and heartbroken. I was so happy when I found out my husband and I were pregnant so that I could give my dad his first grand baby, now my greatest fear is that he wont make it to July. 

Has anyone tried to care for a family member that tries to conceal info about their illness?