hi my husband has bowel cancer and has been fighting it now for 5 years. His tumour is inoperable but stable he is so angry at every one, has anyone any suggestions how I can lift his spirits. Any suggestions would be appreciated
I know there are no easy solutions but have you tried talking with him about his feelings.
Tell him he seems angry all all the time... or if he's getting angry at you about something stupid, try not to bite back. but instead say "I know your not that angry about (eg) the washing up, why don't you tell me what's really making you angry or I know the washing up annoys you, but getting this angry over it makes me think you're really angry about the cancer ....
of you could get him talking about it, then maybe he could direct his anger at that instead of other things and of course; you.
thank you I will try talking to him but he tends to clam up. We have booked a holiday in April and he has sorted all the finances out and labelled everything saying well if I'm not here you can still go . Had a really miserable Christmas with him saying again that we shouldn't be together. I know I shouldn't have but I jumped in the car and went for a drive, then got accused of being a bad wife.
Hey do not feel bad about it. You too need to channelize your feelings. It always helps to take a pause and look at the situation from a distance. God knows i am doing the same. I hope that you have a great holiday in April. Please do tell how it went :)
tried that he says it's no good as we just don't get on he has calmed down again now. He is convinced he won't be here long he suffers really badly with his bowels but won't tell anyone he says it is all part of the cancer. He is in and out of the toilet so many times after eating no medication seems to help. Thank you for your reply it's so nice to have people to talk to
Hi, do you both speak to anybody separately? Like oncology mental health, macmillan, or even through the doctors? If not I would strongly recommend, good for you both to vent to separate people. A lot of the time you already have life/relationship problems and these are only enhanced by cancer. If you are doing your best then please don't beat yourself up, sometimes in this situation it is never good enough, because how could it be!? As much as we try we are not councilors and it takes external help for either or both. Never feel alone.xxxx
hi thank you for your reply I am going to talk to out McMillan supporter they have invited my husband to a meeting and I really hope he accepts as I think it would be good for him
