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Just found out my husband has cancer...im devastated

Looby33
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Hi everyone..i just found out my husband best friend soul mate...has cancer and to say i am devastated is an understatement...i am normally so strong and take care of everybody but am a bit embarresed to say ive been having suicidal thoughts if any thing was too happen to him or it got too bad and feel so guilty as i have 3 grown up children...25,21,19 and they really are my world but the thought of facing life alone without my rock does not seem possible...we both just lost our moms in the past 3 years and clung to wach other so now...this has happened i just dont know how i am going to cope..i need to know if this  gets easier as the pain im feeling is unbearable..

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Looby although I'm really sorry to hear that your husband has been diagnosed with cancer.

    Please don't be embarrassed about having suicidal thoughts. It's really good you've had the courage to speak about it and it's completely understandable why these thoughts may be popping in to your mind at this moment in time. If you continue having these thoughts on a regular basis though do try and speak to someone about it; maybe a close friend or family member, your GP or even the Samaritans as they would all want to help you get through this difficult period in your life. 

    I'm glad you've joined the forum as many members here will really know how you are feeling having been in similar situations with their partners and loved ones and I'm sure they will post soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you.

    Post as much as you need to Looby and remember that we are here for you if you need us.

    Kind Regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    I recently found out I have cancer and at 55 with partner and 3 grown up children 30,. 25 ,20 I was devastated. My world was rocked , we've cried, we've been angry but now I've started treatment we are all fighting this together. I know it's a silly way of looking at it but there are people on here younger than me , people with no opportunity to have treatment to get rid of it. I also think none of us know when our time is up .

    I think you need support and you should talk about how you are feeling to friends or family as it is important you stay as strong as an ox , your husband and family need you. Where I live we have a cancer support project that offers support to the whole family check out with the oncologist what is available and make use of it please. 

    I wish you strength to get through this it's just not fair is it. 

     

    Angela 

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    Hi Looby.

    I am so sorry to hear of your new circumstances. Don' t be worried about the rest of us on this site we are here to support if we can. It is hard to come to terms with and you are still both grieving for your mums. You have three lovely children who will support you, include them in your feelings as they are probably as devastated as you but don't want to let you down. They are probably crying inside and being strong for you, don't be afraid to have a good cry together, we did. I don't think anything prepares us for the cancer but remember with treatment many cancers are curable these days.

    Take care and best wishes to you both

    Chrissie 

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