My boyfriends mother has cancer...

Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months, we are both 14 (yes I know i'm very young) and a few weeks ago he told me his mum has cancer, all I could do was cry for him. I was and still am too scared to ask where the cancer is based but all he told me was that the lump they found was about 2cm by 2cm. I am assuming its breast cancer but she has to have chemo obviously and is starting that soon. I already struggle a lot with my mood and self harm and to have the one person I truly love suffer is killing me. Im not great at conversation and comforting so I never know what to say. Could someone give me some advice on how to cope with it and what to say that will comfort him?

  • Hi Charlotte, 

    Welcome to Cancer Chat.

    I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend's mum has cancer but it's great that treatment is available and she is starting chemo soon. Sometimes just being there to listen can be the greatest help of all so I'm sure just letting your boyfriend know you are there will be of much comfort and support to him. I have also found a website called riprap that helps teenagers cope when a parent has a cancer diagnosis that may help your boyfriend at this time as you he can talk to others online who are going through the same situation. Many members have been in a similar position with their partners and loved ones and I'm sure they will post soon to offer their support and advice.

    I noticed in your post that you said you self harm. Have you spoken to anyone about this? If you don't feel comfortable saying anything to family or friends you can always chat about what you are going through with the Samaritans. They are available 24 hours a day and you can call them for free on 116 123. You can find out more about them and other ways to contact them on their website.

    I hope this helps Charlotte and we are here for you and your boyfriend if you need us.

    All the best, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator