Today I saw my dad first the first time since the news. He looked worn and older and a lot like my nan had.

It has been the the most long day but in a way not long enough.

I wish to stop crying he's being so brave and dependable as he as been my whole. 

I am over come with waves of unbearable pain and endless floods of tears and fear that I will never be happy again this probably sounds very dramatic but is one of thos moments.

I take comfort and the words we where able to say to each other and treat it like gift some do not get. I worry for mum laying their bed as it's now easier for my dad to sleep downstairs.

I know what I should be doing looking to the positives thankful for this time we havnow now so thankful and I am course but it is hard to do.

I just want someone tell me it will be alright please.