yes, i know that feeling in the pit of your stomach well, and sometimes without warning it wont stay there works its way up to your throat, and you cant stop the crying , no matter how brave or how hard you try. .

Thanks for replying. You're right in what you say in making the most of what we have.

everyone copes differently, but you will find a way, im so sorry you have to go through it all, cancer is very unfair, and doctors do there best when they can. but just be there when you can, do what you can, and then you can look back and say i did my best, hold his hand if you can, sometimes you dont need words.

Hello I'm sorry to hear about your dad i care for my mum who has also been told she only has months althou she's had cancer for 4/5 years it really is hard to hear and to cope with her your dad got a McMillan nurse they are brilliant ours is really helpfull could be worth a chat with them you can always message me x

Hi Ross, I am in the same boat with my mum, and again as the result of a long period of her symptoms being misdiagnosed until it was too late to treat effectively. We have had an unconditional verbal apology and a promise from one of the consultants involved that the whole department will now do things differently and that this will never happen again for anyone else. I am sceptical, but to push the case any further would make an unbearable situation even more stressful for our family, so we won't. It's hard to let go of the what-ifs and the bitterness, but it's the only way forward, and i keep trying to do a bit of mindfulness here and there to try to clear all the unhelpful noise out of my head, not enough though. I am terrified of what is going to happen to my mum on the way to the end, i can't bear to see her suffer. But we don't have a choice, we just have to live through what's coming, and support our loved ones as best we can. I agree that Macmillan are good, our Macmillan nurse has referred me for counselling, it would be worth talking to yours. I heard recently (from my hairdresser i think!) that the military can do amazing things in terms of getting you home quick if things take a turn for the worse, i hope that's true. All the best, to you and your dad x

Hi ross, i just lost my dad a few weeks ago and i was in the position you are in now.  be with him every chance you get, let him know you will be there for him to help him any way you can.  I took a leave from work to care for my dad so he could pass peacefully at home.  it was gut wreching to watch dad suffer but my sister and i were with him every minute.  I can tell you that no matter how hard it was at the time, we are so thankful we spent all the time we had left with dad.  it went so fast.  hope that helps...take care.

pam

Hi Ross,so sorry to hear about your dad ,I know how you feel in every way...I only joined this forum last night but people on hear are so caring ,sharing different experiences on both during care and after a loved one is lost....I find it hard to talk to anyone face to face about my dad I'm just not strong enough without braking down and this site allows you to do this so I'm find it already easyier to talk...at first I didn't know what to say to my dad my thoughts were just that he would be gone soon and I couldn't cope,but then I realises its the NOW that really matters .we have sat an talked hrs ,remanised ,laughed and cried together there nothing we haven't said to each other ...I'm finding it hard to cope with not being able to see dad everyday I haven't seen him for 4 wks due to me having pneumonia its hard ,its nothing you can prepare yourself for but you have come to the right place Ross ...as I have been told by arew people on here already ,you are not alone.....I hope you find this of some comfort to you knowing people are always here..just like you I am single my my family live all over the place and I'm miles from them all..

Petek

hi nicole85.... totally understand you, hope your ok. my dad ill too.and were girls, and its our dad, dad, the man weve always looked up to, and gone to over the years, bet you've got same feeling of dread as me, it doesn't go, learning to cope with it

Ross, similar position as you mate and it's such a hard situation to deal with.

There is so much to deal with and everyone forgets what the family is going through.

Everyone assumes I am coping well but I am just hiding my emotions and only my wife sees my lose the plot and break down.