Hello Chrissie, 

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to that your husband is now dealing with cancer as well as MS. I'm sure that many carer will be able to understand that feeling of being at a loss of what to do. As you say this is a whole new ball game for you both. 

We have a team of nurses here at Cancer Research UK that you can call to talk to if you feel that it may help. They are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040 (free to call from a UK landline). We also have some information on our website which I've linked for you here. 

Whilst we have quite a number of carers here at Cancer Chat there is also a forum on the Carers UK website and you might find some support there too. You can find the forum here. 

You are welcome to post here anytime Chrissie - be it to ask questions or to offload.

Sending you both our very best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

So sorry about your husband. Last year I was caring for my Mum and the district nurses were good. They came a couple of times a week to check on her and arranged occupational health to provide the necessary things to make life easier for her. The Marie Curie nurses did 2 sleepovers when my Dad was away and I have 2 kids so couldn't stay over but apart from that the day to day stuff was down to us.

My Mum had Oesophageal Cancer and had had radical surgery to cure her..... so couldn't eat much so days were speant coaxing her to eat. I put on loads of weight as she wouldn't eat if no one else was eating as she thought we were trying to feed her up. In the more jovial moments she would joke that it was the first time in my life I was larger than her!

Don't be worried about asking for help, the district nurses always said to us to just call them if we needed anything and they were right but we were reluctant.  Until the end we did battle on through though but I think that worked because I looked after Mum during the day and Dad did the nights as he was at work during the day.

Thinking of you

HiChrissie

I've recently joined the forum and just found your post. 

My partner has Secondary Breast Cancer and the greatest source of support I've had with her care has been the local hospice

Last year, when her Mum was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, we had the "support" of the district nurses. Their focus was mainly on completing their paperwork and ticking boxes  they offered skin care advice but mainly just told us to visit the GP. I have heard others say that they found them useful.  

You mentioned trying to adapt diet to help with nausea which is a good approach, but there are so many clinical options to reduce nausea if that's not working. Our specialist care nurse from the hospice advises about the non-clinical and clinical options.  I know some people are uncomfortable with the word hospice, but please don't be. 

Inunderstsnd my partner's drug cocktail and manage her meds by doing all the ordering and giving her tick sheets  she takes over 50 tablets a day, of 18 different drugs so even without feeling unwell, it's a lot to manage  

You are clearly very experienced and will adapt to these new needs well  Good luck  

Hi Bryony

I feel so guilty moaning as my husband is such a good patient. I just feel helpless that I can't do more to help with pain etc.

We are on second cycle of pazopanib or Votrient for advanced renal cell cancer. Today he has had a lot of stabbing pain in his stomach as that is where the cancer has metastacised. He has always hated taking medication and will only ask for paracetamol. I want him to ask the doctor for stronger pills but he won't yet. I assume it is the drugs attacking the tumours. He doesn't have a CT scan until Jan to see if 3 months of immuno- therapy has worked or not.

He is eating better than my first post suggested but everything tastes bland, yet he can't have anything too spicy, which he used to love, as it upsets his stomach.

We should see the district nurse on Tuesday when she comes to change his catheter. They are good at providing care for pressure sores etc but can't do anything unless the GP or oncologist says so. My husband is at the moment hibernating for the winter as he gets so cold if he goes out in his wheelchair in this weather. I just think this is our life now and it's such a shame as he fought MS for 38 years and now this.

Thank you for your replies and best wishes to you all. This forum is great as it allows us to put things into perspective and realise we are not alone.

Chrissie

My mum finds small meals much easier to manage and we go for lots of very tasty things and as much variety as we can.

porridge is one of mums favourites but also casseroles, home made soups, scrambled egg  lots of flavours and as many calories as possible, so full fat milk, cream etc

ive also found complan really helpful, a milk shake with all the fortified things that help make sure nutrients are going in.

it is helping mum build up her strength but for us it's quite a slow process, mum had sepsis whilst in the middle of chemo, so all treatment is on hold while she recovers from that.

we also have anti-sickness mess (metaclopromide), which works at the moment!

speak to your care team or GP, they may have some other ideas.

sometimes it's a bit of trial and error, to see what works!

good luck!!!!

Thanks Rebels

He is eating better but his taste buds have changed. I have got some complan from when he had his op to remove his kidney and tumour.

Every week it is something different. Never mind keep on going. Just reading the posts makes me realise how many people are suffering and keeping strong.

best wishes to you and your mum.

Chrissie