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Mum...secondary brain tumors and depression.

Preecy
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Hi guys I'm new to this and just wanted to express my feelings I'm having..

 

My mum was diagnosed 2006 with breast cancer she got treated with chemo and was in remission then in 2014 she got diagnosed with secondary breast cancer spreading to her lung liver stomach and lymph nodes.  She had chemo once again and then carried on having antibodies.she was back at work and her normal self a little tired here and there. She has always been positive and upbeat about fighting cancer and kicking it where it hurts!

 

Unfourtanlty 1st August 2016 she got told the breast cancer cells had spread to her brain in 3 different places in her brain.  This came as a complete shock as her scans where really good.  She underwent radiotherapy for a week a couple of weeks ago. She actually experienced a very rare reaction to her steroids causing her to hallucinate and not sleeping at all she didn't sleep for over 80 hours straight this lead her to been admitted into hospital for 10 days and finally not being confused..

She's now at home and she's seriously depressed ( which I completely understand after everything she's gone through) I just worry about her so much that she's giving up and I was also ready a few symptoms of her not eating etc...and it came up with sytmyoms of dying... I'm just so stressed and worried about her I'm only 23 and have no partner or children to go to I feel sometime I can't go to my dad and express my concerns of her slipping out of our hands..... I don't want to lose my mum she's my best freind.  I feel I try and be oblivious to the situation and pretend it's not real... I just wonder if anyone is going through the same as this and any advice would be amazing

 

Thanks for reading this 

 

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    Hi I'm also new here and jusr  wanted to send some love i don't have much advice right now because im struggling myself and not sure how to be or what to do 

    lots of love xxxx 

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    Hi Preecy, Firstly, I'm really sorry that this has happened to you and your family. It is the worst thing in the world watching your mum be so ill. My mum was recently diagnosed with lung cancer although is now in remission, it was the worst experience of my life. I'm also in my 20s and struggled so much with watching her be so unwell. I felt so guilty for thinking that I didn't have my own family unit set up yet & couldn't imagine losing her and also wanted to be there for her to keep her spirits up and look after her how she has spent so long looking after me. From what you have said it sounds as though your mum is a fighter, she has got through so much so far which is amazing. When you're used to someone being strong it is a shock to see them weak but I'm sure she is stronger than you realise. It sounds selfish but when my mum was very weak and struggling, I found that if I spent a small amount of time a day doing something for me it meant that I was in a more positive mood and less anxious mood and it rubbed off on her. I would spend time reading and even once had a massage. It sounds selfish but it meant that the time that I was alone I wasn't frantically panicking and I was more positive when I saw her. I looked for happiness in things she would enjoy too so I felt close to her. A lot of your energy is probably being taken up worrying about your mum but it is really important to make sure that you look after yourself too in whatever way you can and remember you have a community here to help you. It's the worst club to be in but you are not alone. Thinking of you and your family. Take care of yourself, Charlotte
  • Offline in reply to charlotte123

    Hey Charlotte 

     

    Thanks so much for your reply and I am very happy to hear your mum is now in remission. 

    It's just a horrible situation to be in although the we've been going through this for over 10 years now it doesn't get any easier and this time round was just a complete shock..

    Yeah I used to feel guilty heading out for the night etc and going and enjoying myself thinking of her sat at home (luckily dad was home also) fighting this horrible battle.

    She's a lot more upbeat and I can slow see her getting her fighting power back which is awesome although she did say if she had to have radiotherapy again she's not having it as she had a very bad reaction to steroids and was in hospital for 10 days.. Yeah I've tried lately to get her out the house a bit more and have our girly days like we used to.. 

     

    I find now it's because she has no routine during the day where as she used to be at work come home and look after her granddaughter also twice a week. But the family are slowly getting her out and about again. 

     

    But yes I have lately been going out a lot more and not feeling to guilty as I know I need to also look after myself 

     

    Thanks so much it's good to knothere's people out there to talk to xxx

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