Hi there,

I apologise now about the long post.

My partner and I have been together for 3.5 years and 3 of them he has had cancer. He has stage 4 liver cancer and has already had a kidney transplant when the cancer spread a couple of years back. He’s 27 and for the most part he has been the strongest guy I know, he’s been to the US and London to seek treatment and has been back in Australia since Nov 2014 when he was put in isolation and hasn’t been let out yet. He is on a trial treatment I’m not allowed to see him, it’s the hardest thing. All I want to do is be there to support him. I don’t want anything; just to sit in his room talk, play board games, watch tv, read books, if that’s what he wants. Id honestly do anything. I just don’t want him to be alone like he is.  All I’m told is that the only two people allowed in his room are his doctor and nurse. I understand his immune system is low and they are waiting for more consistent results but wouldn’t them allowing us to be together help him find some strength to get better. Right now he’s the worst I’ve heard him. We used to talk everyday, for hours on end and now I’m lucky if I hear from him in a week if not four. When we do talk it's hard because i know all the answers he will give me to the questions, it's lilke hes lost his emotion and drive but hey who wouldn't after being locked away like that for so long. All I want to do is be his strength, help him fight and be there for him. We try our best not to talk about the sickness but when we aren’t allowed to be together and that’s the only thing you want it’s hard.

He is an incredible guy who has had a rough run. All he want’s is for me to not stop living like this has made him. And as I truly understand that, I love him with all my heart. Before he was diagnosed we were talking about getting married and our future together, yeah it was early on in our relationship but when you just know who the love of your life is you just do. We had everything worked out and now sometimes I try and talk to him about other things we have spoken about but it’s like he doesn’t care anymore. Nothing helps him, nothing drives him anymore and I don’t know how to help or what to do. My froends see how much I’m hurting and will do for him and they do not support it in the slightest way. He’s shutting me out and so are they. My family doesn’t agree either because they haven’t met him. When we got together we kept it quiet because we both wanted to. Now it’s like I’m dealing with it all on my own and I have no one to talk to. I try and be strong everyday but there are just some days I can’t do that. I’m great when I’m with other people or I’m working but when I’m on my own it kills me. I don’t know what to do to help or just get through this. How am I meant to deal with It all on my own. How am i meant to be there to support him??