Hi sorry to hear of your news.

I myself am under treatment for lung cancer. I can fully understand your emotions of anger and why I went through the same.I will say some advice I was given that was immensly helpfu lin me being able to cope. Being blunt here you have to say to yourself "Why Not". Cancer does not discriminate. It attacks the old, the young, the rich the poor and you will find yourself wasting vital energy worrying about why. It is what it is and you have to accept that before you can move forward and help.

I wish you and your mum well for the future.

Thank you grahamtheseagull for your reply to my post, it's hard to accept because I never thought it would be my mom, I don't mean to sound selfish but I'm close to my mom, and I hate what she is going through.

Hi

Welcome to the forum though sad that you need to be here.  Please do not consider yourself selfish.  When a  loved one faces such a diagnosis it is so frightening and it is difficult to know where to turn.  This forum is full of wonderful 'readers' and 'writers' and I hope you will find some support here as your Mum probably has lots of appointments/treatment to get through. If you feel you need more outside support please talk to your  GP who should be able to help put you in touch with the right people.  I supported my Dad from afar when he was diagnosed  a good few years ago now and it is not easy as you try and juggle your own family commitments.  I still required lots of support when my husband was diagnosed  and that is when I found this forum.  Sometimes it just helps to have somewhere to offload and seek advice.  I wish you both all the very best. Jules

Thank you Jules, finding this site has given me comfort in away, it's not knowing also what is happening with mom makes it more worrying,and trying to understand what she is going, through. I've gave up working, so I can be there more, for when she needs me.

You are strong Jules to go through your issues, I bet there up and down days to deal with and it takes it out of you at times, but we just try our best. 

It is strange how many people thought and still do, think I am strong but without the help of those family and friends and the understanding of the chat forum it could and probably would have been a totally different journey. Being able to share my feelings openly  here was a massive part of my coping mechanism during the three year journey I took alongside my late husband.  Not only did I deal with a rollercoaster of emotions butI also learnt a lot about myself.

You are right that we can only do our best though it often felt it was not enough.  The frustration was overwhelming at times that I could not change things for the better.  With hindsight it is very important to make a little time just for yourself (not always easy to come by) and not to feel guilty about it.  In the longer term having a small amount of me time helps with coping on the difficult days.

Learning to ask (often more than once or twice) for what help you need to make things as manageable as possible for all the family was not easy for me as my hubby found it hard that we should be talking about it but it very much needed to be done, though never easy to go against how he felt sometimes.

As our children were grown up with children of their own we became good at 'time management' but with the help of community nurses I continued, with my husband's blessing, to work part time(which helped a little with the financial side of things) until the last week of his cancer journey.  We all manage in various ways and find the strength from within (even now I am not sure how) to just get through.  Take care, Jules