Abby, I have just signed up to this forum after finding that my mum has lung and liver cancer. She too has gone from being an active, fierce woman to someone who struggles to walk from one end of the room to another. Like your mum to you, she is my best friend. 

Sadly, I don't yet know of any alternative therapies but will look into it. But I just wanted to acknowledge how terrible you must feel and let you know that someone else is feeling the same.

Hi Abby

I have joined this forum this evening after browsing the website for information. My father died from cancer 5 years ago and I am STILL in shock. The pain in TOO deep for me to shed tears. Now my mother is under investigation for pancreatic cancer (she also has a seriously enlarged gall bladder full of stones...with no pain) and I am devastated. Although she hasnt had the test results yet...its not looking good. My whole being pivots around my mother. I dont know what is worse, loosing my father or watching my mother grieve for him. She says since he died she has been only half alive.

after 5 years I am still angry and hurt about dad and resentful of other men of his age group who are still alive but what has given me great comfort is I had a fantastic relationship with my dad and there are alot and I mean ALOT of happy times but more importantly when he was ill mum and I cared for him...24 hour care with no support from anyone...it was absolute hell at the time but he was treated like royalty,  and mum and I gave our best to the point that we feel no guilt or say "I wish we could have done more" Mum suffered a year after his death with a strianed  back and lost the use of her arms...hoisting him out of bed to wash him everyday! (I had to put her knickers on the day of his funeralas she could pull them on herself!)

So it seems it is likely that I shall have to look after my mum in the same vein and this terrifies me too. We she and I have suffered enough. My advise to you is listen to HER, ask her what she wants, ask her what she wants you to do and its OK to say I dont know what to do or I dont know what to say. Its Ok to tell her you are terrified of loosing her and your heart is breaking....these are now the moments for the truth. 

Alternative medicines? Think very carefully. I am sure all your mum wants is for her journey to be pain free. Consider what will AM achieve, will it make the cancer go away...will it prolong her life....what for. please accept she will leave you she has to leave you but you can make that journey as peaceful as dignified as possibe with the help and support of others to make sure she is pain free. Please let me know how you are geting on.

Hope I have helped