how to have a life

Hello, my mother recently had a brain tumour and is in remission but is still struggling to look after herself, I'm 22 and had to turn down job offers in order to care for her on top of this my boyfriend has bipolar type 2 and suffers from mood swings. My mother patner is never around and makes mine and my boyfriends life a misery at home. My brothers and sisters don't really help out but are always judging me. At the moment I feel at the end of my rope I just want to leave to make my boyfriend happy but I know I can't. Any advice on how to cope with this situation. 

  • Hi Extended

    You have a lot to deal with right now, it sounds like you've got all the responsibilty, are you by any chance the oldest sibling? Go with your instinct and leave, this will force the rest of your family to take a share of the care. You can still be there for your mum but can take a break in your own home, and don't turn down work offers, or they will dry up at some point. You could arrange for some care for your mum from outside agencies for the times your family are unable or unwilling to be there for your mum. If you all agree to share the cost of this, you will find your family more willing to help out. The alternative is for you to put yourself at risk of a breakdown in health where you will be of no help to either your mum or boyfriend. Hope you find a way. Kim