called round to see my dad today, mum said he's very scared I'm so scared for Monday. Why does his appointment have to be 6.30pm it's going to be a long day. Dad looked very flushed and is quiet..we all talk about everything other than Monday. Dad doesn't want to talk about it yet. I'm really angry...why didn't the doctors do the prostectomy earlier, he had one Tumor, slow growing we will watch and wait. A year later he had two tumors either side in the prostate. Have a radical prostectomy it will all go away ! That was three weeks ago. His post op date was 2nd August. We got the phone call yesterday come in on Monday we need to see you.. The obvious thing is his cancer has spread outside the prostate, they told us that would be the only reason to bring forward his appointment...no news is good news... So to speak. The logical women inside of me is saying you must wait...worry when you have too. The girl inside of me is freaking out...not my dad...your not taking my dad. I nursed my friend through secondary breast cancer till the end and did the same for my darling nan dads mum this year from liver cancer. We moved nan into mum and dads house, it's what my dad wanted she passed March 13. When things were really bad for nan I would catch my dad crying. I always hugged him and told him I loved him. We knew dad had cancer then too. I prayed I wouldn't have to watch dad suffer the same way. I honestly thought this cancer was nothing to worry about. Strange I know, dad has had lots of heart attacks and strokes since a young age, he told me the chances were his heart would give out first, as this was such a slow growing cancer. They would just watch him.
forgive my ramblings, I'm just venting xx
