Supporting a child whose parent is dying

Can anyone give me advice on the best way to support an 11 year old who has a parent dying of cancer- I am a friend of the family and want to be as sensitive and thoughtful to the situation as I can. Cancer has never touched my life and so I feel like every reassuring comment that I make or piece of advice I give is not first hand and then it just feels like empty words. I can't make the situation better as his parent is dying but I feel like I should be doing more to help this child. It's breaking my heart to see him going through this and wish I could help him in some way. 

  • Hello cymraes1982,

    I am sorry to hear about your friend. How thoughtful of you to want to support your friend's child. We have some information on our site on talking to children which you can read here . Simply being there for this child, showing that you care and that you are available to help is already I am sure very helpful. You seem to be a very caring friend.

    I am sure some of our members will have some great suggestions for you on ways to support this child and the child's family during this difficult time.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi,

    Practical help will go a long way. Kids that age seem to need their parents to run a taxi service for them, ask if you could help with the school run or something similar.

    If his parents are willing you could try taking him out for the day to do some normal things. This will give everyone in the family a bit of a break. 

    Try not to appear too pushy, nerves will be strained and emotionally things may be near breaking point, but help with the little things can often make coping with the bigger things more bearable.

    Best wishes

    Dave