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Darceysnana
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Hi, we have just had the most gruelling 5 days where, apart from some minor stomach pain, my darling husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer that has already spread to his liver and lungs. Today we have been told that this is incurable. Totally overwhelmed! A wonderful consultant spoke to me about this forum and how it can help talking to people that are going through this themselves or with a loved one. I have no idea what to expect other than we will be advised next week once a team of people have reviewed all the test and biopsies done over last few days. So any tips or advice would be most welcome as I try to work through my husbands emotions, our 4 lovely sons emotions and then mine xx 

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    Hi there, 

    I'm really sorry to hear about your husband - I hope you and your family are coping as well as possible. I'm 20 years old and in March my dad got diagnosed with bowel cancer. He'd been having stomach pains since December, but the doctors kept saying it was IBS. Then in March is was announced that he had bowel cancer which had spread to his liver and due to the position of the mass, it was inoperable, meaning it was terminal. It was a whirlwind and happened so quickly, so I know how you feel so overwhelmed with this awful news. 

    In May, my dad passed away after a short 9 week battle. He didn't get chance to try paliative chemo as the doctors said that it would cause more harm than good. 

    However, during the 9 weeks after he got diagnosed, we made sure he was as comfortable as possible. It's a very scary time, however I find the word 'incurable' particularly daunting - just because it is incurable, that does not mean it's imminent. I would just suggest keeping your husband as comfortable as possible and enjoy the time you have with him - maybe take short trips out of the house? 

    If you have any questions feel free to ask. I hope you're well.

    Georgia xx

  • Offline in reply to georgie1

    Thank you for your reply and I'm so sorry for your loss Georgia xx It seems that since the diagnosis everything has come on worse, what was an ache is now more of a pain, I think this is my main fear I'm terrified of the pain for him xx 

  • Offline in reply to Darceysnana

    Hi Darceysnana, 

    That is a totally understandable fear, however the doctors and nurses and palliative team can do a lot to ease any discomfort or pain he may feel. My dad was in a lot of pain initially, mainly due to the positioning of the mass, but then he had a stoma bag fitted and a lot of the pain went. He then started really struggling with thick, sticky phlegm and he also struggled with nausea. We aren't sure what caused this - whether it was the pressure of the mass, or whether it's because it had spread, but the doctors did everything they could to make him feel as comfortable as possible. 

    x 

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