Hi Gracie

Its a hard thing for both of you to come to terms with. Just spending time around and with him is good, don't try too hard to jolly him along, (its annoying) He will appreciate that even if he doesn't tell you. Chat to him about everyday things and about good or funny times you've spent together. If he doesn't want to talk about cancer don't bring it up. Help him out in practical ways, like get his shopping if he's too unwell, do some cleaning, involve some other family members or friends too. Also give him some space and time to himself to come to terms with it and just to rest, cancer makes you so unbelievably tired. (this is what I would like as someone living with cancer) best wishes to both of you. Kim

hi my name is denise first of all im sorry about your dad and what you are going through but i hope i can help you feel a bit better you see  i have lung cancer its spread to my lymth nodes iv been given about 9 month no more they say that was in february but im trying to be normal as i can i think you are ok just being as normal as possable thats what my family are doing for me when im ok we visit me sons and grandchildren if im not to well they visit me its good that you think of your dad and try to help believe me its much appreciated your dad will know how you feel my family are taking photos of the grandkids and me for later and  we have little teas when im well enough i realy enjoy that as they all get together it helps me feel not so down i have a wheelchair for long trips i cant walk to far without getting breathless but im not stuck at home all the time  hope this helps you

regards denise

Denise thank you so much for reply!! I'm sorry about your diagnosis u seem so brave my dad also has spread to lymph nodes!! U have helped thank you, I guess we are doing the right  thing it's just always thinking what else can I do to help!! We just want him to be as comfortable as possible!! It's hard to be happy at a time like this but just to see him smiling!! Ure family sound great Denise 

Thank you so much that helps a lot I think we do try to make a fuss too much I will just be normal and give him more peace!! Thank you Kim 

hi Gracie

im gald to help sometimes its a lot harder for the carers as they have to watch your family go down hill but a hug does help on both of you just small things like that and sometimes having people around but just sitting and chatting and yes my family are great i cashed my life insurance in with the terminal ilness and have already payed for my funeral so i get exactly what i want lol its nice to know i get wat i want and my family dont have to worry just something to think about as i had some money left over from it and we are all going to the seaside if im well enough in the next school holidays something to look forward to 

regards denise

Oh Denise as I said u sound so brave I admire you!! I hope u enjoy the seaside with your family great memories