hi im so sorry to hear about your mum. my mum had headaches for years and bad migrains the doctor just kept giving her migileave then finally after years of this deciede to send her for a ct scan which showed she had stage four lung cancer and three brain tumours i still cant get my head round it since then ive been caring for mum 24/7 which is so hard she is so ouiet im really trying my best on my own i have no siblings and no support from any family i just feel so angry that thinking this could have been prevented if you ever need to talk x

My mum died on Sunday and like you say, I'm pretty angry. She'd been ill for at least 18 months and was fobbed off by doctors and specialists alike - at one point approx 4 months ago a specialist stood in front of us and told her to stop worrying, that she categorically did not have cancer. She died a disturbing death that I don't know how to recover from. I too am angry, very angry, but am hoping to get some relief by talking on here.

take care x

Hi there, 

I'm so so sorry to hear about your mum, I hope she is not in pain. I understand your anger - my dad started having stomach pains in December and after many tests and scans they were treating him for IBS. It wasn't until one day he woke up jaundice, so they admitted him into hospital in March, and ran more scans and discovered he had metastatic bowel cancer. 9 weeks after being diagnosed, he passed away. It makes me so angry that they didn't find it sooner, despite having many tests and scans. We won't ever find out why they didn't find it sooner. 

Take care of yourself x 

Thank you for all the message and I am so sorry to hear that this is so common. What i am seeing is that doctors have every chance available to them to diagnose early, and people are dying because they are simply not managing for whatever reason.

Our close ones are standing right in front of the doctor or health profesional and no one is seeing what is there until it is too late. People are dying, all the good stories we hear about cancer that they promote, but we are actually going to the doctors, we are doing the right thing and it is being missed. Fit a scanner in to every doctors surgery, test people on it regularly.  If someone is already in the doctors then just do it, they are there! Too expensive? Stop bombing other countries then! Stop building warships! Get the money.......It is there.........

I will never ever listen to these good will cancer stories ever again without thinking to myself that they are complete nonsence. the only time they seem to diagnose these thngs on time are when people have an actual lump. Something growing inside you though and despite symptoms, they simply are failing us.

Hi Warpigs,

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum and share much of your anger and frustration as I too was only sent for a scan and diagnosed at stage 4.

In my case, the problem wasn't simply my GP but the NICE guidance within which the GPs work. According to the guidance in use at the time I was too young, too fit, not fat enough and neither a smoker nor a heavy drinker - so there was only a remote chance of me having cancer. WRONG! Since then, following pressure from CRUK and others, that particular guidance has been changed. Too late for me.

I can't think of any such excuses in your Mum's case. I'm not a doctor, but sudden unexplained weight loss in someone with a cancer history on its own ought to set alarm bells ringing.   

I used to work for the NHS and frankly I don't think enough people make formal complaints, let alone take legal advice, when things like this happen. 

Best wishes
Dave

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum it's heart breaking doctors don't do anything and they don't really care about anyone they are time wasters really by the time we get the appointment the person might be finished it's just so upsetting and we feel so angry that we feel like helpless can't do nothing about it 

I disagree with your comment about doctors not caring, the vast majority of them do.

They often have a thankless task, I certainly couldn't cope with the stress of seeing dozens of patients every day knowing that if I get things even slightly wrong someone could die. 

I am very angry about the fact that I have cancer, more with myself than anything. I've never smoked but I have been a "moderate" drinker since I was a teenager. The problem is that what was considered moderate in the 1970s is now considered heavy and alcohol is believed to be a factor in the development of Oesophageal cancer. 

Best wishes
Dave

Your post is so refreshing to read...

7 months ago I went with my mam and her husband to the chest clinic at the hospital after she had many visits to the doctors for treatment for asthma and then chronic asthma. Previous to these appointments which I will get too, she insisted on having more xrays etc with her doctor. She eventually had chest xrays...all clear and nothing to worry about.

Now the appointments, they attended their 1st apt, only to be told the family could attend if they wanted too on future apts. So I did. Only to be told she had stage 4 lung cancer, aggressive and likely to have spread.

No biopsy at this point!?!

Withdrew fluid on her lungs, couldnt determine the cancer, 2nd attempt at a biopsy - nothing back

3rd attempt at a biopsy and everything goes quiet, wait another week while all the consultants meet up on a weekly basis to discuss, while we are all totally anxious and all I can describe as being very stressed and listening to my mam saying...what if I dont do chemotherapy what will be the difference.

All the while a week to wait is the equivalant in a month for a cancer paitient, or even a year given the severity.

Dried my eyes only to here it is lymphoma and this can be treated and there is a good successful rate. Sooo to go from dead in months to a high survival rate and carry on for some years is good to hear and then some.

This is non hodgkins and what seamed to be a sneaky one and a tricky one to treat. She under went 6 months of treatment, 1 intravenous for 6 months and 1 straight into her spine for 4 months, to prevent it going to her brain....or so we were told.

Half way through and her scan tells us her cancer is 80% gone, by the 4th/5th cycle it will be completely gone. All while she starts puffing on her ventolin again.

Me being me tells her that is not right and I'm shot down and told it's ok and she doesnt know why she's puffing on it! Call me a sceptic....

Treatment ends and my mam is back in hospital with yet another infection, which happened all the way through her treatment and she even caught gastroenterisits whilst in hospital on her first cycle and they dont know what it is or where it has come from....No surprise. The professor saw her that day (on her last days alive whilst in hospital) and said, well if it wasn't for your shingles you would be home. Basically looked at her made a judgement within 20 seconds and said what I would say was a flippant comment and made  to feel she was being there for no reason.

The Tuesday following THAT comment in hospital, she was told the treatment hadn't worked and she had weeks to live. Only 1 other treatment to try, so she did. Tablet form of chemo over 5 days combined with steriods.

Steriods gave her false energy, chemo didnt. The tablets didnt work. I walked into the hospital one day and she had soiled herself in the morning and she still hadnt been changed by 4pm. All meds had stopped when it was clear there was no hope even basic hydration in a drip.

Words were passed and hydration and steriods re-appeared. Her speech deteriorated that afternoon only to find a tumour on the base of her brain. We got her home where the care was second to non. District nurses and evening care. They were amazing.

I can't help but think everything was incorrect, incorrect diagnosis, incorrect treatment, incorrect answers and sad to say incorrect nurses. She died at home, something I realy don't want to remember but find it hard not to. She was where she wanted to be and I thank the nurses for caring for her while she was at home.

This unsolved case does not rest here and nor should your's Warpigs.

Happy solving, keep me posted.

Hi All,

So sorry to read all of your experiences here, one thing is clear and that is cancer has been horrible to us all.  My father was misdiagnosed too - and it is likely that he would have had a btter prognosis had it been diagnosed in Autumn rather than March this year - a long time in Lung Cancer.

What I have found helpful is to read articles and research on my dad's condition to see what we can do to help him along.  Also being really positive and fun in front of him has given him a huge boost.

I've also taken the opportunity to tell him how amazing he is, what an amazing dad he has been and thank him for all he has done.  I have had friends who's parents have died without notice and suddenly so I am grateful albeit quite late, that I still have the opportunity to talk to him and tell him these things.

Make the most of the time you have together, albeit hard, it is precious moments like these we will hold onto in future.

xxxx