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Help and advice

AJJD2290
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Hi there,

Ive joined the forum because I'm really struggling and really need someone to talk to and just see if I can find out some answers. 

I'm having a time of it at the moment. I buried my grandad on Friday losing him to Alzheimer's. Yesterday I received a phone call from my dad who is based in Scotland im in the north east. He told me that he has a cancerous lung and it has spread to a lymphnode. The doctor said the only way to get rid of it is to cut out the lung but my dad also has copd so not sure if they will be able to do that. He has had bowel cancer before and had some internal rearrangement, I don't think he wants to go through treatment again.

i guess my main question is I'm really struggling to cope and to come to terms with the fact I'm likely to lose him this year and I just really don't know what to do.

I don't want anyone to have to conjourn up old feelings by talking about previous experiences or anything I'm just looking for some coping mechanisms or just any advice anyone can give me. 

I'm a young lad in my 20's I've never been in this situation, I've never had to cope with the death of my grandad and what seems to be the inevitable outcome with my dad I just feel a bit lost. 

 

 

  • Hello AJJD2290,

    Welcome to the forum.

    We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandad and the struggle you are currently going through with your dad and his situation at what is already a difficult time.

    Many of our members have had similar experiences and hopefully some of them will be along shortly to offer their advice and support.

    Best Wishes,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

     

  • Offline

    Hello,

    I am really sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am 22 and I lost my dad to stomach cancer just over a year ago.

    There's not really a trick to coping or preparing youself for what is about to happen, all I can say is that you learn to live with it and it becomes a part of your life. Although my dad passed away a year ago I feel like i still haven't dealt with it because I've been Busying myself and reminding my self that, although harsh as it sounds, Life goes on.

    I do find that talking about them really helps. If you keep it all in to yourself then it's bound to explode out sometime. I'm sure members of your family feel the same way that you do and it might benefit you to speak to them about what will happen when the time comes.

    All the best.

  • Offline in reply to MXB

    Yeah I've been sort of trying to think 'there's nothing you can do about it so why worry about it' it's just hard to accept what is going to happen. Doesn't help that my job entails situations like this day in day out so I'm constantly reminded. 

    My family and him don't talk it's a strange situation to say the least and I don't know my dad's side of the family so that's why I'm feeling a bit lost. With him being far away as well it's all just got a bit much I suppose. 

    Im hopefully going to get some sleep tonight and keep going forward with the 'what will be will be' attitude. 

    Thanks for replying it made me feel a lot better knowing there was someone out there! 

     

     

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