Will I know when the time is coming?

Hi, My Dad was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer last September. He had Chemo up until Christmas which helped reduce the size of the tumor slightly. We knew we were only buying him time, the docs made us aware he was terminal. Since February time i've noticed Dad losing weight, looking weaker and generally looking much poorlier although theres been no pain until recently. 2 weeks ago I went away for the weekend for my son to raise some money for a lung cancer charity and when we got back I was taken aback by how much he had deteriorated over the few days I hadn't seen him. Over the last 2 weeks he has been put on steroids as, although he's decided no more tests, the docs believe its now gone to his brain and he's been confused, drowsy and extremely dizzy. The steroids have taken the edge off the dizziness but he's not bouncing back this time. He's sleeping probably 20 hours a day, he's still a little dizzy & not very hungry. Today he had extreme pain in his right shoulder. It was so bad he didn't know what to do with himself, it took strong painkillers and an hour to ease. Im worried at the speed he is deteriorating. 

  • Hi JillS,

    We're sorry to hear your dad is so unwell at the moment. It can be really tough to see a loved one suffering especially when you're not sure how much time you may have left with them.

    Many of our members have gone through similar situations and I'm sure they will be along soon to share their experiences with you.

    Kind Regards,

    Steph

  • Hi

    we lost my father in law to cancer in January of this year and my mum is fighting her own cancer battle just now too. 

    Your question you ask is very valid and was one we asked about my father in law. He passed away just six weeks after diagnosis, having previously never been poorly or had a stay in hospital. Ever. 

    The guidance via Cancer Research online, Macmillan and Marie Curie was invaluable. There are specific online PDF documents which detail what can happen towards the end and for us, it was spot on. We found the information hard to read but it was very necessary. It went from a few weeks, last few days to last few hours and its accuracy was amazing. It was a huge comfort that at the end there was no suffering, he was peaceful and comfortable and we could not have asked for more. Marie Curie nurses were incredible and got us all through it and without them I don't know what would have happened. 

    When you can bear it, read it. I promise it will reassure you..

    my thoughts and prayers are with you

    beth X