Hello

Mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March this year. I had my 21st Birthday at the end of April & mum was up & about. 

The weekend, just past, she's been feeling sick. Vomiting & in pain. On Monday evening my dad took mum for a trip out in the car since it was such a lovely night.

On Tuesday she just got worse. District nurses had to come in & give her pain relief. She now has a syringe driver which puts the pain relief right into her bloodstream. They said it would save them giving her injections. She's in her bed just now and she is sleeping a lot. She hasn't eaten anything at all for the past 3 or 4 days. The nurses told us that she isn't allowed to drink too much. Just little sips of fluids every now and again. 

Its just so horrible to see her like this. And she has deteriorated so quickly. I thought she would have been okay for another month or two, then slowly get worse. But it's all happened so quickly. 

I was also worried about work but they know all about the situation and they have been so understanding (thank goodness) telling me to stay off for as long as I need. At least that's one less thing to worry about.

i am just so so shocked by it all. I took the dog out yesterday for a while just to get me out the house for a bit, and to cry. (My sister and dad were at home so mum wasn't by herself)

We all know the end is near. And I'm trying to prepare myself as much as I can but I know I can't, really. And I've never seen someone die before. It scares me, a lot.

Thank you

Rosie x