Hi Caroleandphil, 

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum as I saw you hadn't had had a reply. 

The waiting for investigations amd tests and results is one of the hardest parts of the journey. 

It may be, that once your husband has more information he will be encouraged to take his medication, but appetite is a tricky thing. 

I am terminally ill and find eating something I 'have to do' rather than want to do! 

We now tend to eat our main meal at lunch time and then have something lighter in the evening, like a shake or a smoothie. When we go shopping , our trolley is often full of bizarre things that I just fancy, but I give in to these cravings . Is your husband able to tell you the sort of things he fancies to eat? 

Meanwhile, just be there, doing what you're doing and gently encouraging and supporting him. You're doing a great job! 

Do come back and let us know how you're doing. Will be thinking about you on Thursday. I hope they can offer your husband some palliative treatment and that this spurs him on. 

Take care, Jo xx

Hi Carole,

Is Phil receiving any treatment for his depression? Living with the knowledge that we have Stage 4 cancer isn't easy for any of us, when the knowledge finally sinks in it can be very crushing.  

In the short term, all you can really do is be there for him, try to get him to see his GP about his depression (if he hasn't already done so) and make sure he's getting enough fluids. The waiting can be a nightmare at the best of times and many people have a fear of chemo based on out of date experiences and information. Chemo isn't a walk in the park by any means, but these days many of the symptoms can be and are controlled. 
 

Good luck
Dave

Thanks Dave I contacted gp and he has been prescribed some anti-depressants I am struggling to get him to take his medication and to eat anything he just doesn't feel like doing anything He is spending all day in bed and then by the time he does get up it is late and so he will sit downstairs till the early hours and so is so tired the next day he is in bed again it's such a shame as i am sure a drive out in this lovely weather we are having would be good for him but i don't want to push him too much i did manage to get him out for an hour on tuesday and he wlked round the supermarket and yes the trolley was full of things he fancied the hard part is the restrictions on food types he got quite upset when i said that as he wasn't allowed toast or bread that i didn't think he should eat teacakes either I have been looking for a list of which foods are "safe " to eat especially something that could replace bread as that is one thing he really misses

Thanks Jo for the support it's such a shame that all advise is because someone else is ill too but it is still very comforting to have other suggestions x