Hi Sammy, so sorry to hear your sad news, I feel for you so much, I lost my mum to ovarian cancer 8 yrs ago, it was very aggressive and well advanced a left us all in shock, although I had my sisters to support me, at the time I felt it wasn't enough, I had to support them too..... My advice to you is to speak with your Macmillan nurse's .... Ours was amazing and very truthful, they were very comforting and basically just kept us going forward has best we could, they can get you the support you need...... Keep strong xx

Hello guys, thank you for your quick replies. I am definitely all over the place, my emotions have gone mad feeling everything from angry to complete sadness. I'm not sleeping very well or eating much anymore. 

My auntys were helping but over time people seem to fade away and it's very hard when people don't understand whathe I'm going through.  

I'm sorry you guys have been through it too, it's awful.  Xx

hi sammy im so sorry to hear about your mum, my mum also got diagnoised 5/2/16 with lung cancer and three brain tumours, and like yourself the day we found out i was in total disbeleaf but knew as i was the only child i just had to get on and care for mum, she has been home a month now and iv moved in with her to care for her 24/7 im finding it so hard because she is not sleeping and getting confused due to brain tumours sometimes i just dont reconise who my mum is and its all so sad i really feel for you hun and if you need to talk im here any time because i really understand how hard it is i feel such a mix of emothions. take care of yourself too hun xx

I completely get where your coming from Sammy. In January 2015 my Mum told me she had terminal cancer. By April I had resigned from my job in Australia and had moved back to the UK to be her full time carer. I just couldn't do work anymore. My manager was annoyed that she had to help with my workload. 

I have a sister, who did the bare minimum. A Dad who didn't care and her ex partner made us move out as he couldn't cope with me looking after her. 

So from June to April I looked after her fulltime, by myself. We went through radiotherapy, chemotherapy, spinal surgery and multiple collapses, hospital visits and then the syringe driver. Mum eventually lost her brave battle on 2nd April. Luckily, my girlfriend came back from Oz to help out in March. 

I'd see about getting compassionate leave from your work, carers allowance and she might also be entitled to PIP. At least that way you can focus on your Mum. If you have a mortgage it could always be postponed and businesses were generally supportive re outgoings. Most importantly it gives you a break and that cannot be underestimated. 

We got help in the end, but by being their full time you get to spend quality time with her, even if it's not the same level as before, you'll still treasure it. Hopefully, it hasn't spread, but even if it hasn't, you can always get another job once she is better. 

I cried every day from when she first told me. She was my best mate and whilst it's overwhelming you'll amaze yourself with what you can do. I'm still trying to work out who I am now, but that's another story. 

Some of my Mum's friends were great and would stay over so I could sleep. Some of my friends would put me up when they did so I could have a night out. 

For me families have way to many dynamics to see what's required. Friends are the way forward, they'll also need your help one day. 

For the anger I got a punch bag in the garage. 

When I felt lost I talked to my Mum, looked at photos with her, watched her favourite shows. By making life as normal for her it also helped me. 

Sorry it jumps all over. I wrote this on my phone.