Hello John,

A big welcome to our forum. Your mum certainly sounds like a real character, full of life and fiercely independent at 87. It is really hard to answer your question but perhaps you could ask her medical team? They will be aware of how her cancer has developed and will give you an indication as to how she is doing at the moment.

If you are based in the UK and need to talk things through with our nurses, you are always welcome to give them a ring on this free number 0808 800 4040. You can call them Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.

I am sure our forum members will be along soon too to share their own experiences of looking after a parent with cancer. They are bound to have also asked themselves the same difficult questions as you.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

My Mum's cancer was kidney cancer that had also spread to her spine. I'm presuming this is what you mean by back. 

My Mum was 65 when she passed and had fought it in her spine for 15 months. A real legend and battled to the end. 

One thing to bear in mind is spinal cord compression. As your Mum is 87, they may not be able to operate, but it improved my Mum's life dramatically. They removed some of the tumour and created a space for it to expand into and built a cage to support the structure. It prevented her from becoming paralysed and as with kidney cancer it is generally a peaceful ending if the morphine / syringe driver is monitored effectively. 

An MRI should give an indication on their severity and any immediate dangers. 

This is just based on mine and my Mum's experience.