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My dad is very ill he is dying of stage 4 lung cancer

Buffbuff1
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hello, I'm not sure why in posting I'm just in a place of miss believe, my dad has stage 4 lung cancer, he got diagnosed in February and has just had a second round of chemo ( the chemo is just to keep him comfortable give him a bit of life back it can not cure it) I can't cope that my dad is dying he is 67 it's too young, where will he go when he dies, how will I cope, I can't stand it it's driving me insane 

  • Offline in reply to Butterfly89

    Morning butterfly,

    what at is the difference please between incurable and terminal? You mentioned it in your last post.

    xx

  • Offline in reply to Buffbuff1

    Hello again buffbuff1, 

    When my dad was first diagnosed with 'incurable' bowel cancer there was some time after that where I wondered what incurable actually meant. Was it a nicer way of saying terminal...did they both mean the same thing? After talking to a group of people suffering from incurable cancer they explained to me what it actually meant. Basically terminal is usually given to someone who may have less than 12 months to live and a lot of the time nothing can be done for them at all. Incurable means the person will die from the cancer they have but they could go on for many years it's not an immediate death sentence. Many can live up to 5 years or more with incurable cancer. Incurable meaning they can't get rid of the cancer but can help live with it and maintain it for some time hopefully years. I hope I've made sense to you with explaining the two. X

  • Offline in reply to Butterfly89

    Hello butterfly,

    than you for getting back to me, that sounds quite hopeful then as they are treating my dad with chemo to make him comfortable he has one more chemo session on the 4th May and then they are doing a ct scan to see if the chemo has made a difference.  It has with his actual health so hopefully the cancer has shrunk or at least stayed the same.  They said that he can't be cured - so I think we all thought it ment terminal, but at the moment why he is having treatment it is actual incurable not terminal until such time nothing else can be done that makes sense thank you for explaining. Even the word sounds more hopeful 

     

    xxx

  • Offline in reply to Buffbuff1

    I'm glad to have helped you. Of course though if you do have any questions it's best to ask his doctor. But from what you've said I would say your father is 'incurable'. There will come a day when incurable will unfortunately turn into terminal just like for my father but we can only hope it's not for many years yet at least. Again like my father the chemo he's had has been 'palliative' chemotherapy...incurable to aim isn't to cure him but hopefully bide him some time and make him more comfortable and hopefully shrink or stabilise the cancer. At the moment it's stable. CT scans are usually every 3 months to check what's going on and what the next plan will be! 

    Where there's life there is hope. Never give up before you get started. Not saying to be really positive but maybe neutral somewhere in the middle. Keep his immune system strong and himself positive as this helps a lot. We've never allowed my dad to give up nor do we mope about around him and for that reason he's fighting and doing well. Xx

     

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