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My mums cancer isn't curable

Han123
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Hi everyone, 

I really don't want to be writing this but I feel that talking to anyone would help me right now... 

My mum was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 and at the first the doctors were very postive however over the years my mum has been on many different treatments and the cancer is still there and fighting back. Recently the cancer has spread to her bones.

Last week there were more scan results and they weren't good the chemo that she had been on has not been working. She's now been told that the cancer is not curable however at this stage there is still treatment that she can have. 

I'm 20 years old and the thought of losing my mum is really upsetting. I've tried to remain positive but over the years things just seem to be getting worse. 

 

 

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    Hi

    Welcome to the forum. What an incredibly stressful time you are having, it's understandable you may not feel so positive right now. There are never any words that can comfort someone in this situation whether it's the patient or the carer, and it's easy to say stay strong etc. All you can do is just take one day at a time.  There is a number on here where you can call the nurses and chat. I'm sure that may help you get some answers. Take care of yourself though because right now the best you can do is be there for your mom xxx

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    Hello,

    im going through the same thing, im 23 and my younger brother is 20. its always good to know that there is someone out there that is going through the same thing as you are and is the same sort of age. my mum said to me today that whatever me and my brothers want to tell her then now is the time - an example she gave was when we were kids she made us jam sandwiches for our packed lunch- if we would have prefured that she didnt then now is the time to tell her. i had always thought that i would have kids and my mum would be around to help me out with teaching them what she taught me. but she wont be. i guess what im saying is your mum is your mum. she knows you better than you ever will. she wants to know that she will leave you in the best possible position to move on after she is gone. show her what a fantastic person you have grown into and enjoy your time with her doing the things you like to do together.

     

     

     

     

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    Hello Han123, 

    So sorry to hear about your mother's cancer. Do you have much support around you? It's understandable how upsetting it is...nobody wants to lose anyone they love especially a parent. The only advice I can offer you is to make the most of the time with your mum by doing the things you both enjoy. Take as may photos and videos as possible, plan some day trips if possible and say all the things you want to say or ask. The best gift you can give your mum is to show her how strong you are and that you'll be just fine. It's a long road ahead and you will go through many emotions along the way but make sure you look after yourself too and if things ever do become too much then speak to your doctor. 

    I'm 27 and my Dad found out last April he has stage 4 incurable bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. He was put onto palliative chemotherapy a month later which unfortunately didn't work. He's due to go back onto chemo again soon. So I completely understand and sympathise with you over how hard and upsetting it is. Nothing feels quite the same anymore it's as if you're Iiving a different life. I don't cry in front of my dad and we rarely speak about his cancer we just focus on normal every day to day things which helps keep him positive and takes his mind off of everything. If you ever need a chat as well as anyone else on here feel free to message me. After all we've all got something in common...

    Big hugs x

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