It is so very difficult. It doesn't ever go away, and is always at the back of my mind, no matter how hard I try to carry on as normal for everyone. My mum has some serious complications following her initial chemo, and doesn't really understand what's happening. Her chemo is now on hold while we wait for her to recover from pneumonia and swine flu and every passing hour is just adding to the time without treatment. You have to find a way to talk about your mum and what's happening. A friend, relative, colleague, strangers on here. I have family that live long distances away and I email them a few times a week. That's cathartic for me - u have to get things off your chest somehow even if it's not verbally. It helps me process what's happening.