My husband has terminal cancer

 

My wonderful husband has been battling cancer since February last year. We were told in September that it had become incurable as it had spread from his bowel to his liver and lymph nodes. He's been having chemotherapy but it hasn't worked, and now we've been told that there stopping treatment. He's currently in hospital but yesterday we were told that any further treatment would need to be carried out through a hospice. I'm so scared, everything seems to be happening so quickly. I want to get him home but at the same time I'm terrified of having to watch him get weaker. He's only 53 and we've been married 34 years. He's my life. I was only 18 when we got married. I just can't imagine my life without him. It's so cruel. 

 

  • It is cruel. And I was so scared too. I wish there was magic and we could change the terrible things that hit us. My husband was 54 at diagnosis...I was petrified to lose him..all I can say is that you are not alone with how you feel and the journey behind and ahead of you. I am not good with advice, am feeling so lost myself, but there are wonderful people here who are good at saying kind and helpful things, I would like to send you a hug and wish you luck. 

  • Hello Missydawn, 

    I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, cancer is very cruel. I really wish they'd find a cure for all cancers then none of us would need to be on here. 53 is far too young, do you have any children together? Spend whatever time he has left creating those oh so precious memories, take those photos, laugh, talk about the past, tell him how much you love him which I'm for certain you will do anyway. Time is very precious to each and every one of us, it's so difficult and the heartbreak can be unbearable but somehow we have to try and fight however hard. 

    My dad has incurable bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. He's 64 and I'm turning 27 next month. He was diagnosed a year ago. It's been ever so tough and the person I feel the most for besides my dad is my mum. She's been with him since they were 16 and 17 years old, I worry how she will cope but I know with the support from the family she'll somehow manage. So I can sympathise with you but how it feels, I've never had to live without my Dad...it's hard to even think about the future ahead. He's had palliative chemotherapy but each time he's ended up with other things wrong (bowel obstruction, blood clot and last month a stroke). 

    Please look after yourself, I do hope you've got plenty of support around you. Wish you both the best of luck x