Sorry for what you are going through, my dad has primary lung cancer which has spread to brain and spine..and now I think into his bones. I am my dad's carer at his home I'm devastated but each day I tell him that we don't have time to get angry and upset..only time to share our great stories and memories each day together. I struggle once I leave him as I have 2 small children at home but each day I'm with dad I try and stay strong for him. X

Hi so sorry to hear about your dad but your words are so true we have to think of all the good times and show them the care that they deserve, it's a horrible thing for anyone and their families to go through and sounds like you care and love your dad this is the second time my husband has had a brain tumour but unlike the last this is a GMB grade 4 and can't operate due to where it is he is meant to be starting chemo but we know it's not s cure , but we must all stay strong and I am finding it very hard but my hand goes out to you sending big hugs to you and your family xxx

So sorry to hear about your husband. My mum also has stage 4 cancer and I have found a few things that really help with coping with the diagnosis is making the most of the time you have left with them, like going on day trips that they've always wanted to go on, making memories with them etc. I find that this really helps both my mum and me so that when she eventually passes I have lots of nice memories to look back on. Planning things to do together also can distract you for a few hours from everything. Hope that helps, I know that nothing can remove the pain that you are feeling but hopefully it may help you to become more at peace with it. Sending my support x

Thank you Lucym what you are saying is so true just need to enjoy our time together we will have been married 33 years this Sept and I have known my husband since I was 6 such a long time ! But you are right we need to do things together but he just sleeps all day due to the drugs but will have to try just think I was so shocked as done all this before and to start again knocks you for six ! But thank and yes you are right need to get him out more I've got to try cheers xx

Hi Lynn97

My hubby 'lived' with a terminal diagnosis (with a bit of palliative chemo) for nearly three years.He was able to stay at home throughout and it was just in his final few days when we needed the help of community nurses.  During his illness we took it day to day, still planned ahead and when he was well enough went out and did what he wanted to do.  It was important to him for us to keep things as normal as possible and whilst it was so difficult to watch my man struggling we both had good friends (and I had this forum) whom we could confide in. Our adult children and two grandchildren visited (lucky they are all local) regularly and we did make some good memories  which we now treasure (he passed away January 2015).  We even managed to get him down his local pub once a week up until a fortnight before he died though due to medication he was not too happy at having to replace his whiskey with soft drinks .

This forum offered me an outlet where I could be myself and raise my fears/frustrations knowing that others unfortunatey understood. My  husband tried to get his affairs in order (suggested by our lovely oncologist and support worker who gave brilliant guidance) and in the first six months of diagnosis managed a bit of part time work but eventually was restricted to being at home. It is difficult to offer particular advice as everyone's journey is very personal to them and their family but one thing I was told (by a friend with terminal cancer) was to make sure all that you want to say gets said (it works both ways)  so I did my best.  Sending supportive hugs both to you and the others who have posted on your thread.  Jules54

Oh thank you Julie54 that message was beautiful and heart warming and so glad you made the most of the time you had with your dear husband just a few words and support help so much and it good to be able to talk to people who all understand what we are all or have been through thank you xx