Hi All sorry if this isn’t in the right place for this and for the length but I think its all relevant also i am dyslec so i apoliges for gramer and spelling

Basically my girlfriend’s dad has got colon cancer and I am looking how to support here

History

Around 2 years ago Dec 13 my brother was admitted to Walton hospital for counselling for his depression he had been stuffing for years at request of my mum as part of the process he had a mri he was called back in the next day and they said he had a golf ball sized tummer at the back right of his brain he went for tests and they found it was against his speech/eyesight he had it removed it was the first operation after Christmas and it went real well was a brilliant surgeon he came out with minor eyesight damage ie blind spots and floaters he has had some issues and has lost the ability to concentrate.

because of my past with my family and my brother we have had a envolvemt with click Sargent and i have lent a lot about cancer and bits form other family’s in a similar situation to are selves and since then i have been copeing and have managed to give good advice to friends and people i have met with cancer and other terminal illnesses they have all said it helped talking about what i and others i no have been through and i have been coping and i thought i could cope with anything eles that arose

then just before Christmas my bother went back into hospital for his next 6 month scan and it turns out his tumour has started to grow back then the first part of this year they have had to operate to remove it again then manged to cut back through the brain tissue back on the same route so thankfully he hasn’t detreated and is the same well with more headaches as you would expect

Meanwhile during the time between my brothers scan and his op my girlfriends dad when for a series of tests after feeling sick and not being able to eat propaly for months after my girlfriends exams finished in Jan he announced he will be going into hospital and he has a mass in his colon so he went to hospital to have colostomy bag fitted and is currently undergoing chemo I’m not sure on the chemo he is having but he is in the hospital for half a day then has a bottle to take home with him for 2 days then the nurse comes to disconnect it

I am not sure of the extent of the cancer it has been mechond it has spread to his liver and his lungs

my girlfriend has started uni in a uni which is a 2 and a half hour drive away she started in September and he has said it might be unlikely he will see her graduate in 2 years

just to add more stress i have accidently crashed my car i am ok but i was was 6 inches away from being at the botom of a river which has shook everyone up a little

me and my girlfriend are very close and descuice everything with each other and are familes are close aswell

i want to support my girlfriend as much as i can and i just want her to be happy as does her dad I just don’t know how the other problem is coz im so close to the situation I am not sure what’s the best answer or advice and we keep covering the same things I would be nice to here a fresh prespective

the course that my girlfriend is doing is avaible at a uni which is local to home which she didn’t choose in the first place coz she didn’t like the uni she is considering moving there to be closer to home with her family and me so she has more support but doesn’t want to give up on what she wanted by staying there

but equally I don’t want here to regret spending the time with her dad she is planning to come home every weekend the time her train comes in and departs means she has a maxuim of 49 hours at home a week

I do not no how to help / support her with this decision she has never lost anybody close to her I used to see my nan once a week on a sat all day when she fell ill and went into a nursing home we didn’t see her as much as she didn’t rember us and it was distressing but I really regret that decion now

so the real questions are

Does anybody have any advice for me to help her decide

Or does anybody have any personal advice that she can draw on

Does anybody have anthing i can give her to read

Or anything else that could help

Thanks for taking the time to read all this

Regards

Vaughan