Yes, my dad has andenocarcinoma of the duodenum, which has also spread to his liver :( It's such a rare cancer, there's not a lot information about it:( How is your mom doing? Is she getting any treatment?
Sadly mother passed away a couple of weeks ago. I took her to two too cancer centers but the doctors feared that treatment would do more harm than good because she was weak and her appetite just started to improve. The surgery recommended for duodenal cancer is the Whipple. The surgeon felt that my mother was not strong enough for such a risky and lengthy involved surgery. She had a palliative bypass instead which took her long to recover from. Now looking back I regret not taking s chance at the lengthy surgery which could cure but could also set her back. It was s chance to take and now that I saw how much she went through and how her life declined maybe taking the risk would have been worth a try. She lived 9 months after her first symptom that landed her in the hospital. Her actual cancer diagnosis was three months after that hospitalization. It should have been sooner then maybe she would have had more of s chance. Is your dad going to have any surgeries?
When we lose someone we love from cancer a lot of us start with the "what if's"
My wife died from a cancer that was genetic and a month ago we discovered that my daughter had not inherited the gene. I said "I only wish Mel could have known that - we should have had your test earlier" and my daughter wisely said "Imagine if it had been positive"
I think if the surgeons declined to do the operation because of risk there's a good chance that they believed she really didn't have a chance of surviving it - If you'd insisted and she'd not made it I'm sure you would have had a whole bunch of other "What ifs"
I have found that in grief many, if not all, of us have an unbelievable ability to beat ourselves up and inflict pain on ourselves - the first step is to realise that, in all probability, right now your mind is not your friend don't listen to those small voices telling you that there was some better outcome and you could have done better.
You followed sound professional advice and did your very best for her in the most difficult of circumstances.
You supported her, and comforted her - you should be proud of yourself
