Hi Im so sorry to hear this, and I know how hard this is for carers to deal with , My husband had a radical dissection over 5 years ago, with chemo/radiotherapy and was cancer free five years , discharged march 2015 then september the same year  a lump came up the other side ,back to square one and this time terminal, currently he only has a few weeks, possible days left as I writ e this , He was evntually offered chemo, but the UK surgeon even mentioned  it cost £2000 a pop "but cos your worth it we would give it" disgusting attitude , He was also told by a stand in surgeon , all gunhoe, he could do major surgery giving another 5 years if they removed his voice box.tongue etc

, we had two weeks to decide , went back to say no, the original surgeon placed CD in tape box and said no surgeon would touch you now, its gone to far , basically the gunhoe guy hadnt even seen the PET scan and was  making the wrong offer , pretty obvious by the CD , why else woudl it be taped now , since then we have had delays with appointments , wrong departments and all sorts and have had to beg all the way , its like they give up when they see a certain age

you do wonder what our hubbys would do if they were on their own . been appalling , we are both very bitter as you can imagine , and you go through the " maybe/if only, should we have emotions" but at the end of the day you accept and hope its quick and pain free,

It must be so hard in a foreign country , hes 64 had to retire early , Im 59 work fulltime and care full time .

the noise from breathing as the trachea closes is horrendous , and you want to scream shut up, then you feel guilty, he snaps at me for the slightest thing and you tell yourself this cancer is now going up to the brain it must be as theirs not a shelf above the neck to stoip it , so its not him talking ,  you make excuses all the time , I wlak away , cry one minute , then I think hey come on be strong and go back in .

Absolute nightmare , I hope by now you have got some support xxxxxxxxxxx