New to Forum - looking for guidance...

Thank you for the acceptance into the group X We found out that my Dad has cancer at the end of November. It came as a bolt from the blue as symptoms he was showing up to that point we had always passed off as a result of his drinking (he has been quite a heavy drinker for years). Boy do we regret not taking more notice of those little signs now!

Dad has been diagnosed with 4 areas of tumour in his brain & a rumour in his esophagus. The specialists are not sure which are secondary or primary at present but they are treating the ones in the brain first with Radiotherapy. Can I ask how long generally after diagnosis Radiotherapy starts? As there seems to not be much urgency for my Dad at present? Also they were going to do a Biopsy on the tumour in his esophagus but have now decided not to & just start on Chemotherapy after the Radiotherapy. Should I be worried they are now not doing the biopsy?

Dad has gone downhill so quickly since diagnosis. He has lost around 3 stone & just lately cannot swallow so is now on liquid only. He has also had a lot of issues with bowel movements too. His mental state is severely affected too. He has barely spoken to my Mum for a week, spends most of his time in another room on his own, is barely moving apart from going to the toilet, sleeping the majority of the time & when awake has no interest in anything. It is like we are watching him fade away before our eyes. He is on a high steroid dose which I know will have an effect but are all these symptoms down to that? The specialist does not seem concerned about any of it but for us, who have never seen this before, it is terrifying! We have been told Dad will probably not see next Christmas X

 

Any help from anyone would be gratefully appreciated x

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your dad , people forget that loved ones suffer as do the patients .when I was sick I forgot how hard it must have been for my family and friends . I would suggest contacting one of the nurses on here for the medical advice . Nacmillan are amazing . I can offer you a shoulder to lean on on here . Don't bottle things up , but unfortunately with this disease it is day to day . X x 

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    Hi and welcome

    I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. When my dad was diagnosed he was very immobile and was told he was currently not well enough for chemo as it would wipe him out. They gave him steroids to pick him up so he was strong enough to withstand it, the consultant said he needed to be on his feet for two thirds of the day. They also couldn't find my dads primary cancer site but said it didn't matter as the treatment would be the same. I was lucky (in some ways) that I went to see the Macmillan consultant with my parents so knew more. 

    Maybe your dad needs to gain more strength before treatment too. Did they say when he needed to go back to see the consultant? 

    I personally wouldn't worry about the biopsy as it sounds like it will only confirm what they already know, it would however give them the exact type of cancer they are treating.

    This is just my personal views and not medical. The ask the nurses page is good for answers.

  • Thank you so much for your kind words & support X I will try my best to get Mum to talk to a nurse as Dad is worse even from yesterday & if she won't I will x

  • Thank you X No word yet as to when the Consultant wants to see Dad again. He is due to start Radiotherapy on the 14th January. He has been prescribed high calorie drinks but he is still not eating anything solid apart from soup. Mum has talked to his allocated Nurse at our local Hospital but he does not seem to really grasp how much Dad has gone downhill physically since he last saw him. I have suggested Mum film Dad so they can see it with their own eyes. I have posted on the Ask The Nurses forum xx

  • Please don't take this the wrong way but might be worth asking about blood clots too as he is so immobile.  When my dad was diagnosed the Macmillan nurses were phoning up to see how he was doing. It will be worth calling again to say he's deterioted further and ask for advice. Take care of yourself and of course your dad x

  • Thank you Michelle X No one has examined Dad since his initial diagnosis & scans in November X There has been a referral to Macmillian from the Hospital but no contact yet X The only contact Mum has at present is the Hospital & hit & miss getting someone to talk to X Dad said last night he wants to go back into Hospital & he has always refused before so that is a big sign how much he is struggling X Thank you for the suggestion of blood clots X I will get Mum to mention it as & when someone from the Hospital deems to call us back! Get so frustrated with this!!

  • Bless him wanting to go back in. My dad did too, he must feel really vulnerable at home. It's hard waiting around when every day is critical.