Hi and welcome to the forum though sorry for the reason you find yourself here.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer he felt the only way to cope was to not talk about it with anyone and requested that we did not discuss it unless absolutely necessary. He eventually allowed me to attend appointments with him so I could hear first hand what was happening to him (his diagnosis was terminal cancer from the outset) and I could then let family and friends know how his illness was progressing. His illness took him away after nearly three years and I tried my best to allow him his dignity by following his wishes although I personally found it hurtful and frustrating that he turned away from me.  This was not about how I felt, it was the only way he could deal with the emotional fallout that the cancer caused within him. It was only after his death that his GP told me how he appreciated my understanding in that I allowed him to deal with it in his own way at his own pace.  It definitely was not at all easy but  I did my best  and I am pretty sure he would have listened to my wishesif the rolls had  been reversed.

It may be that you will, as Graham has suggested, need to take a step back, tell him that you are there for him when he feels able share with you and hopefully if you explain to family and friends that your husband needs time and some privacy to come to terms will his current diagnosis they will show both of  you some understanding and individual support.

I found this forum a fantastic support and as I approach the anniversary of his death fully appreciate the time others took/still take to listen to me.  Do come back and chat if you would like to offload - somehow it just helps to  be able to let it out.  Regards Jules54

Hi and welcome to the forum though sorry for the reason you find yourself here.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer he felt the only way to cope was to not talk about it with anyone and requested that we did not discuss it unless absolutely necessary. He eventually allowed me to attend appointments with him so I could hear first hand what was happening to him (his diagnosis was terminal cancer from the outset) and I could then let family and friends know how his illness was progressing. His illness took him away after nearly three years and I tried my best to allow him his dignity by following his wishes although I personally found it hurtful and frustrating that he turned away from me.  This was not about how I felt, it was the only way he could deal with the emotional fallout that the cancer caused within him. It was only after his death that his GP told me how he appreciated my understanding in that I allowed him to deal with it in his own way at his own pace.  It definitely was not at all easy but  I did my best  and I am pretty sure he would have listened to my wishesif the rolls had  been reversed.

It may be that you will, as Graham has suggested, need to take a step back, tell him that you are there for him when he feels able share with you and hopefully if you explain to family and friends that your husband needs time and some privacy to come to terms will his current diagnosis they will show both of  you some understanding and individual support.

I found this forum a fantastic support and as I approach the anniversary of his death fully appreciate the time others took/still take to listen to me.  Do come back and chat if you would like to offload - somehow it just helps to  be able to let it out.  Regards Jules54