Hi LJmum ....  I saw your post to me on the other thread and just wanted to say that I hope Mum gets through this infection ok.  I have been admitted to hospital around 7 times over the years with various infections and have always managed to get through them with intravenous antibiotics.  I will be thinking of your Mum and you all.

Never lose hope - I was told I would live 4-6months in 2012 and I am still here and been on chemo since that time.  Good luck to your Mum and I am wishing with all my heart that she will be ok.  Please let us know how she is when you can x

Hi Max, thank you for your lovely reply you are an inspiration and amazing. Is the first chemo the hardest? She is on iv antibiotics and she's still very sleepy. She is due more chemo on weds won't this be too much? She was so well before she was diagnosed she just had a sharp pain in the right side that came and went and severe constipation but has rapidly gone downhill I'm trying my best to make mum think positive. You words are so kind x

They won't give you mum chemo until she is better so please don't worry about that.  The first is not the worse, it's a little more complicated than that. Sometimes you have side-effects with the initial chemo that lessen or even disappear with subsequent infusions.  Sometimes the dosages need adjustment too.     I have chemo every three weeks and a different combination of drugs around every 5months. There are normally a few teething problems when I start a new drug - some are solved easily and some need hospital treatment (maybe a transfusion or something minor like that) - but if you have a good oncologist he/she will quickly recognise side effects and sort them swiftly.

Your Mum will be feeling poorly because on top of her having chemotherapy, she has now also got an infection. She is in the right place though and they have straight away given her treatment so hopefully after 24-48hrs you should start to see a good improvement. Let's all keep our fingers crossed. Thinking of you all. X

I am glad your Mum is getting good treatment and no - please dont worry - delaying chemo for a short while will make little difference to her overall prognosis.  These things happen from time to time and her Oncologist will hopefully put your minds at rest tomorrow.

I really sympathise with your dilemma about being with Mum but I feel that you will know when it is the right time to leave your children for a few days so you can go to visit.  You have your hands full at home by the sound of it and I am sure that your parents understand that.  Your Mum is probably really frightened and didnt mean to 'rant' as she did - it was just her fear getting the better of her for a short while and sadly it has caused your children unnecessary distress. I am sure she regrets her outburst, so please try not to dwell on what was said.

Keep up with the phone calls and hopefully your Mum will start to perk up over the next few days and things wont seem so desperate.  Just try and take it a day at a time for a little while and give your children and parents time to feel a little calmer.  Your mind will become clearer when you hear what the oncologist has to say (you can always ring him yourself for a chat if Mum is having private care).   Please remember to take good care of yourself too.  I hope you have a partner or good friend who is able to give you support with the children and yourself whilst you are going through such a stressful time x

Hi Max, thank you again. You are amazing your kind words make me feel so much better and you are an inspiration as you have your own health to worry about. Life is so cruel and I didn't realise how many people are going through this as sometimes you feel so alone. This is such an unexpected journey and my biggest fear of something happening to my parents staring me right in the face my mum is my best friend and I can't imagine a world without mum in it. I am longing to see mum but my boys need me right now we are all full of cold so wouldn't go to see mum at present. Where we live we have amazing nhs hospitals but where mum is it was important she went private she has had private medical insurance for years. Do you recommend private? She is in an amazing hospital. Christmas is a big worry as we have booked a hotel for 2 nights near mums but my brother is also going home and it's his turn and let's just say we don't see eye to eye! He has never been around for mum and dad for years he's an eye consultant and he too also doesn't live near mum he lives the opposite end of the country as far as we live away from mum and he insists Christmas Day is his day as we take it in turns each year and he's been very nasty so reluctantly we are doing the days after as we dont want anything to ruin this special time for mum. I'm sorry to rant about this to you you just seem to know the right things to say. Just another quick worry do you think dad is staying at the hospital as they think something might happen or is this something you can do in a private hospital? 

Hiya ..... I too have private health insurance and it is pretty normal in my experience for families to be able to stay with their loved ones. There is no restrictions on visiting times either it seems. Your question about recommending private care is difficult because, as you say, you have brilliant NHS hospitals near you. Guess there is good and bad in both sectors but it's good to hear that your Mum is getting good care where she is.

Families are complex aren't they?  I have wonderful friends who have been around years and would move Heaven and Earth to help me but I am lucky to get a phone call once a month from my brother and I haven't seen or heard from my sister for 8yrs and she lives 5miles away!  She's a nasty bit of work and no contact suits me fine.  The saying "you can choose your friends but not your family" is very true and I think you are so right to keep the peace at Christmas and make it a happy time for your parents.  

It is so sad for you to be facing losing your Mum. My daughter feels the same way as you but we both just understand that sadly these things happen to millions of people and there is nothing we can do about it. I lost my own Mum when I was 19yrs old. The thought of leaving my children is the hardest thing to cope with when you have this disease and my guess is that your Mum is feeling that way too.

Enjoy every chat with your Mum and every moment you spend together and remember to let your Dad know you love him too - he must be feeling so helpless. 

Let's hope for good news tomorrow from the oncologist and that Mum will be around for a long while ahead yet!  I hope the children's colds clear up quickly and they are well for Christmas.

Sleep well and speak soon x

Hi Max, Not good news today mum has an infection they don't know where but still can't get rid of the temperature, she is too poorly for chemo and don't know if she will be again. They are saying to prepare ourselves for little time left but I can't accept this I'm just hoping she turns the corner. We are going down on Friday. I am numb it's like it's not happening to me I'm devastated. Hope you are ok x

I am so sorry to hear this!  Everything seems to have happened so suddenly and you must be distraught. I wish there was something I could say to ease your worries.  I'm glad you are going to see your Mum on Friday and will be thinking of you x

Thank you I'm just hoping she takes to the antibiotics and she can have more chemotherapy. My brother the doctor focuses on the negatives and speaks as if we are going to lose mum imminently but I try to focus on the positives do you think I'm being naive or am I right to keep hope? Anyway I've bought mum new PJ s and slippers and booked a hotel in Manchester for Friday so fingers crossed things might have got a bit better. Mum needs to stay positive which she isn't at the minute she must be so scared and this upset me so much. I keep wanting this to all be a bad dream:(