My mother has secondary bone cancer.

Hi,

I cant believe i find myself on this forum.

My mother was diagnosed with breat cancer 11 years ago when she was 38 year old. At this time i was a teenager and although i understood what was happening to a certain degree i knew my mother is one of the strongest people in the world and i believed she would make it through.

Luckily at the time 6 years ago we were givin the marvelous news that the chemo had worked and she was all clear.

Life went on as normal and mum as usual is still the strongest person i know.

5 weeks ago after pushing her to go to the hospital as she was in excrutiating pain in her back she was diagnosed with secondary cancer in the bones.

For 3 weeks the entire family where absolutely devastated as you can imagine.

Mum had an appointment 2 weeks ago and was told her CT Scan showed no signs of spread and was contained too one area. This was obviously great news but still knowing there is no cure kills me inside everytme i think about it.

Over the last couple of weeks ive tried everything to make her comfortable but as mothers do shes always fine and never needs help and wants to do things for herself.

The last few nights however the strongest woman in my life has been in so much pain. After reading up about various cases and different sites i have forced her to make a diary to try and get this pain controlled, which she has complied and been writing how she feels.

I just feel theres no one to talk too. My father is in ruins and my wife tries her hardest to help but its so hard to explain how i feel. My brother and sister seem to feel the same but i think we are all scared to express how we truly feel.

For me watching my mother in that much pain tonight has really hit home and made me feel sick inside.

I find myself googling stupid things like "how long do i have to live?" etc which lead me to here.

Does anybody have any advice on how i can help ease this situation for my mother?

Thanks Guys

  • hello. I feel for you and your family. My husband had liver cancer and was saved by a transplant in 2012. Last month, like your mother, was diagnose secondary in his bones now. They gave us no hopes and to look at days and weeks rather than months. Very sad. Very final.

    Althou my husband has been dying since 2007, when he first had a liver colapse, we have been fighting all sorts of battles. Against cancer, cirrosis, hepatites, transplant and cancer again. Miracles have happened and he has avoid his death for 8, nearly 9 years.

    My little advice to make your life a little easier. Live day by day. Tell your Mum everything you want to tell her. Show her how important she is, and has been, in your life. Give her as much time, love and attention as you can. Its the only thing we can give them.

    I think how hard it is to loose someone important to us, suddenly. There are so many things we didnt get to say, to do. At least with them we have time to let them know all our feelings.

    My husband has been receiving videos, letters, posts on his facebook page. He is overwelmed with so many people he has touch during his life. The kids and grandkids make him all sorts of lovimg messages. Some of the messages he has receiving are the sort of ones you see people say after their friends and relatives dye. He is getting them while he is still alive and it has been very touching. He now knows how his live was worth it for some people. And how he change some of them lives.

    The best of luck for you and your family and my prayers are with you.

    Hope your Mum doesnt choose to suffer. There is a very good system and people dont have to suffer to dye anymore.

  • I'm so sorry for all of you. My family member has secondsy liver cancer in his spine. He has his liver removed 1 year ago but the *** disease has returned with a fury. He went survive, and I just cry all the time. We try and be strong for him but deep down he knows he's on his way out. Why can't they find a cure for this terrible disease. They can put men on the moon but can't stop this!,,, sometimes I wonder if its deliberate just to keep the human count down  p,ease forgive me if I  wring but I'm just so angry and sad that he will die. Yvonne from scotland

  • My daughter 35 

    6 weeks ago was told she was cancer

    Free 

    Now  has secondary  bone cancer  

    How on earth do you keep her spirits up

  • I'm so sad for you and your daughter, that's terrible and far too young. At first it's a terrible shock, but as time goes by she will have some good days..honest, try not to think of the end,, just try and be as normal with her as possible although I know inside your heart will be breaking. I'm sending you all my love. Yvonne from scotland

  • Cancer cares for no one. Its 2019 so why can't we sort this disease out once and for al something needs to be done. There is a reason why it happens so why is t there a way to stop it ,,FOR GOODl

  • Hi is your mother having any treatment at all if not have you thought about cbd oil I've not tried it but I've heard some good things about it and it's legal some on here have used it, it's up to you best wishes, 

    Billy 

  • Hi Billy

    It's my brother in law not my mum  but he is as close as a real brother to me. No we haven't tried it. What do we do with and where do you buy it. Can he get it on prescription. Thanks, yvonne