Hi Kery,

Well done for joining this friendly forum and welcome. A lot of people have said; just writing out how they feel on here helps a lot. None of us like talking about our inner fears and feelings when a family member is affected by cancer so it is often far easier to talk to complete strangers on here who have often been through a similar experiance. Having lost my mother several years ago and just a few weeks ago, my father who lived in Canada, I know just how you feel.

To see my mother slowly go downhill was so painful for she was always an active lady. The problem is we often feel so helpless for there is nothing much we can do to stop the cancer. All we can do is what you have done in making as many happy memories as possible for these do help later on I promise. Any time you feel the emotions getting too much, just come on here and people will do their best to support you. I wish you and your family all the best, kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian.

Thank you Brian, I am very sorry to here about your mother and father. Kind regards 

My dad was always a hard working man, he was the most strongest man I new growing up, and now his really thin and he just looks so small. Dad started taking his pain meds when it really gets painful, I hate seeing him in pain.

I felt a bulge just below dad's ribs on his right side where the cancer is growing pretty heart braking really 

Hi Kery,

Thanks for the kind words about my parents.

The other problem we face is we try hard to show we are coping to our loved ones but inside we are often breaking apart. Its so difficult but they would do the same for us if the situations were reversed. 

My father used to work as an engineer on the trains going up through the Rocky Moutains before he retired. Even when he retired he always kept busy; people were always calling upon him to fix things for them. As I live in England and he lived in Canada, I only got to meet him for a month twenty three years ago but everyone said how alike we were; same likes and dislikes ect.

You have obviusly had a close relationship with your father, something I never had and missed when I was growing up. I feel sure your father knows how much you care for him.

Sending kind thoughts and best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

Hi, so sorry to hear about your dad.  i rarely look properly at myself in the mirror but this morning I had to go to the hairdressers.  I sat at the mirror and really didnt recognise the person staring back at me. I looked thin, pale and sick and realised what other people where now seeing. Its pretty scary but so long as friends and family act normally around me I'll be okay.

If your dad is in pain, speak to his doctors, no-one should suffer pain.  Once this is sorted I am sure he will cope a lot better.  I am so glad you have had some memorable times in the last year, I'm sure that will mean a lot to both of you.

Brian, it is unfortunate that you didn't get to know your father for longer, my father has been both parents to me, my mother and I don't talk, she left when I was 9. Your father sounded like a very smart man and as I'm sure you are too. It's funny how people can grow up with out knowing a parent very well or at all and have some of the same traits. 

Hey Pauline, thank you! I am over whelmed by interest and caring thoughts of your words and I am deeply sorry for what your going through. I am glad you said that about being easier if family and friends act normal around you because, gee... I don't know if what I'm doing is right and I never know what to say. Dad has pain meds but he was just refusing to take them he is a bit stubborn at times but since I have been close by his more comfortable in taking them because his comfortable with me and his finally fed up with the escalating pain.

I haven't really cried much, but today dad hated me going out of my way to do something and he got angry, I got rreally upset but I made sure he didn't see cuz I didn't want him to feel bad. Dad's frustrations doesn't usually get to me but it did today, dad uselly doesn't mind and asks me to do things for him so he doesn't have to get up much. When I was crying all I could think about is what you said, I must be the one he feels he can take it out on, I don't mind, I just got upset, you helped me thanks.