I'm loosing my dad and I'm struggling to cope

Hi. My dad has been disabled for 12 years due to a stroke (severe bleed on the brain) he's been wheelchair and house bound since then but his health started deteriorating a few years ago and only recently (after pushing the doctors) have they found out that he has cancer. The doctor said my dad's too weak for treatment and can only have help with the pain. He was brain damaged from his stroke too and his mental health has been deteriorating. I am his main carer and am finding it spiritually/emotionally and physically draining. Most of the time I'm positive but recently I've been struggling as I looked after my mum too as a teenager (she passed of MS) it was very similar to how my dad's failing health is. I feel very angry at times, then sad, then angry again. I've spent many years caring for my parents and at times I feel bitter. Not with my poor dad just the situation. I miss how they were and seeing them suffer to the degree they have I feel has damaged and haunted me. I've come to this blog as none of my friends can relate with how I'm feeling and I don't want to talk to them about it as they don't understand. I'm also finding a lack of empathy difficult from other people. I've been reading comments on here and it's helped as I understand what others in a similar situation are going through. To all others out there struggling with this terrible disease I wish you healing and hope. Rebecca xxx

  • Hi rebecca1

    Welcome to Cancer Chat.

    I'm glad that reading comments here is helping you and I hope that you will feel less isolated as a result.

    It sounds as though you have been there for your mum and dad for many years.

    You are to be commended for this. As many here know, caring can be such a tough job.

    We have some information here which may be helpful to you.

    I hope you find this forum a friendly and supportive place to come and chat anytime.

    Best wishes

    Jane

     

  • Hi Rebecca,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. The feeling you mention about feeling angry, sad and then angry are feelings a lot of people have mentioned when in your situation. You are obviously a very caring daughter and it is so very hard watching someone you love suffering. The emotional rollercoaster ride is so hard on the carers and what a lot of people dont realize they need help just as much as the patient.

    Sending best wishes and kind thoughts your way, Brian.