How?

How does anyone deal with a parent having cancer and knowing they're going to die?

My dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer three years ago, it was the biggest shock since he's never smoked and I guess you just never think it's going to happen to someone you love.

He's been through so much brain tumour/stroke and also this. He's the strongest, kindest person I know. He's everything to me. 

Recently things have gone down hill and the cancer has spread. I can't stand to see him suffer, to slowy be consumed by this horrendous disease. I also can't imagine life without him. 

All I do is cry and it just doesn't stop. I really don't know how it's possible to deal with all of this and what is yet to come.

  • Hi Monr,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I lost my mother several years ago to breast cancer which spread to her brain and then this week, I have lost my father who lived in Canada. I felt so helpless when Mum was in hospital, especially as it was at this time of year. For medically speaking there was nothing I could do to help her ececpt to hald her hand and let her know I was there for her. It is probably one of the worst times of our lives when we lose a parent. With regard to crying, I would just say nature has provided us with a built in safety device to stop the build up of stress so its far better to cry than to bottle it up. You say you dont know how its possible to deal with what is to came but you will find the strength from somewhere I promise. Hard though it is.

    You have done the right thing by joining this supportive forum for you can pour your heart out on hear and know thats others know what you are going through; we can all help each other.

    Take care, sending kind thought your way, Brian.

  • Hi monr I lost my dad 18 years ago and he to was a kind, gentle and fantastic man, this year I lost my mum to bowel cancer and yes it was hell, there is no magic cure I won't lie to you, you will cry,get angry ,feel lost and useless and a hundred and one other things , I'm taking one day at a time and as when I was caring for my mum you put a smile on your face you talk to them you laugh and you ease there load try not to think about life without them at theminute just focus on time together no matter how horrendous what's coming will be .good luck you will be in my thoughts