Hi Ceil

I was in a similar situation earlier this year and the only way I coped was to avoid worrying about tomorrow and taking care of the here and now. We had help through our GP/community nurses (I live in Middlesex) and would have had Marie Curie Night Nurse but hubby passed away before it became necessary. I too was scared as had never solely cared for a dying person before but we did manage and it was what my husband had asked for. Although my husband slept a agreat deal during his final days, when he was awake and 'with it' he enjoyed the company of others and friends and family popped in as and when they could. Endless cups of tea/coffee went with the tears that needed to flow (often in the privacy of another room!).. Our palliative care team/community nurses organised all necessary equipment loans (we had a hospital bed in the lounge for the final 5 days) and the nurses called as often as we required them - they were just a phone call away and had 24hr contact number which I found such a support. I hope you get the support you need and yes. its hard to do things the man of house always looked after but I am no longer afraid to ask for help when I need it and if I cannot do something I find a person who can. My children are grieving too and we all need out own space and time to adjust,  The forum has been my virtual buddy for a long time and not sure where I would be without it to be honest. Sending a virtual hug at this heartbreaking time and here to chat if you need to.  Jules54