She won't tell us anything

My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in August 2014 and had 3 lots of chemo from November to January and then seemed to be doing really well. She started to loose weight again in May and is now so thin,struggles to eat and go to the toilet but she is still adamant that she will get better. She will not tell us what stage she is, she won't let anyone go to any appointments with her. Last week her GP came and luckily my sister was there, she had wanted to ask mum about her end of life care but said mum wasn't ready to talk about it! I just don't want to be thinking we have got months with her when in fact it may only be weeks. I don't know what to do.

  • i am in the same situation as your mother and I have not discussed it with my children either. As a mum she may think she is helping you by not telling you everything, Just be there and love her for the time she has left

  • Hi

    My husband dealt with his diagnosis in much the same way and found it too emotional to talk about his end of life needs despite his medical team suggesting it would help him/us prepare for the inevitable in his case -( he was terminally diagnosed with cancer of the lung linings but we never had a time line as every case is different ). Because our children (lates20s and early 30s) did not live at home I kept them up to date as and when I was given any information by  his medical team (he had given permission for them to discuss his treatment direct with me to make it easier for him).  My husband coped better if we kept everything as normal/usual as at all possible and it was just two days before he died that he told his community nurse that his only request was to be at home. For the three years of his illness we followed his wishes to the  best of our ability and I am comforted now (some 9 months since he died) that our love and  support was want he needed and what we gave him.  It's an emotional rollercoaster for sure but your Mum probably needs to do things her own way and you being there for her will be enough. All the very best.  Jules54