Starting the Cancer Journey :(

Hello. My name is Kelly and I am currently caring for my mum who has T4 N2 M1b lung cancer with secondary brain tumours. 3 weeks ago today she had focused Radiotherapy on 3 tumours on the brain. 6 months ago she started having suspected T.I.A Attacks (mini strokes). Mum didn't have any symptoms of Lung cancer, no coughing or wheezing. No Doctors or Consultants expected Lung cancer, it was only when we went to the T.I.A clinic that mum demanded a brain scan that they found 3 "lesions" and then did a full body MRI to find 3 shadowy areas on the right lung. 

Mum is very tired and her legs don't seem to work very well, she can't walk very far and it’s very fatigued. She has been told she is not cleared to drive so can't go to work. She doesn't have the strength to stand and make a drink for herself or to cook a meal which frustrates her because she is so used to being able to do everything for herself. Mum feels like she is a burden to me but I actually like being with her.. Most of the time. Everyone needs a break. 

On this Monday coming she will start Chemotherapy for the Lung cancer. I am worried I won’t be able to give my mum the right care she needs as it’s hard on me too. Today is my mums birthday and I wish just for today she didn’t have cancer and had the energy to see all the guest that have been round. It’s very tough on mum. 

I just want to know is there anything I can do to make my mum more comfortable?

 

Thanks,

Kelly.

  • Hi Kelly

    Welcome to the forum and I hopeby replying this will bump your post back to the top of the pile in the hope that more folk will come along to offer their thoughts too.  It sounds as though you are already doing everything you can for  you Mum in very difficult circumstances.  As she has mobility issues it may be worth approaching both GP/Community Nurses and or social services both of whom were very helpful when I travelled the cancer journey with my husband. with supplying appropriate 'aids' to help keep her comfortable and mobile even within the home.

    You are so right in knowing that you too need to take a break in order to be able to cope so maybe there are other family or friends who could pop in if you do not leaving Mum by herself.

    If Mum has pain issues then do get her to talk to her medical team/chemo nurses about this when she has her appointment as there are many drugs that can help with the side effects of both the cancer and treatment. Wishing you both all the very best. Jules54

  • Hi Jules54,

    Thank you for your reply. 

    We have been to the GP nd he says its just part and parcel of the radiotherapy. As for Community Nurses, we haven't seen anyone or heard of anyone since mum was diagnoised.

    My sisters aren't much help as they have their own children and lives and I live at home so I take on the role of 'carer'.

    To be honest I don't really even know want I want from this, I just read through a lot of others peoples post and could relates tremendously. I thank you for your advice.

    :)

     

  • Hi again

    My husband did not have radiotherapy so not sure about what side effects come alongside this type of treatment though when a friend of mine had  this treatment I do remember  a great deal of fatigue being an issue for her. 

    We were lucky in that hubby consultant oncologist was in touch directly with GP and when the time came for hubby to need community nurses to call, this was arranged by his palliative care team - the community/district nurses being the answer.  We had a number to ring at the hospital where he was an outpatient for both advice and support and I am begining to realise, having read so many differing stories on this chat forum, that this is not always the norm.  Unfortunately sometimes it's necessary to 'keep asking' if you need support.  Though my daughter had two young children she and her brother (neither were at home) both helped me have 'time out' during the three year journey (I do not have siblings) and we have some very caring friends who would visiit at the drop of a hat.  In our own circumstances in the later stages of his illness I was only too aware that I could not manage alone emotionally as well as practically (not always easy to admit it though!!).

    Hope when you Mum has her next appointment you will be able to express your concerns and ask for extra support if she needs it.  All the very best. Jules

  • HI! I know exactly what you mean, what your worries are. My mom has also cancer, cervical cancer. She is 57 years old. She had chemo, the worse period in my life. I dont want to sacry you, I really dont, but you must know she will feel dizzy, weak, she will have nausea, migraines, she will lost her apetite. I read all this symptomes on the net and she had them all. Is very important her diet: she should eat small servings, each 2-3 hours, based on fruits, vegetables. If she can, she should take walks, that will put her blood in move and gain her apetite and minimize her migrens. All you can do for her is make her laugh, cook her favourite meals, walk with her(as much or less as she can, even it is 100m), massage her legs, her body. Now my mom is on radiotherapy, this isnt so bad. But i know what you mean, I also need a break from this horrible cancer. I hope you will have the strenght to face her bad moods and she will have the strenght to fight! Good luck! Take care of both of you! You must take care of yourself too, as you are her only support!

  • Hi klarakp. Thank you for your response. My mum actually passed away on the 1st of September so now life is even worse. However I do appreciate you taking the time to reply to me. I hope your mum is well and radiotherapy is working. Much love, Kelly.

  • Hello Kelly,

    We are so sorry to hear that your mum has passed away. Our most sincere condolences from the Cancer Chat team. If you ever need to talk, we are all here for you.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Kelly,

    I am so sorry to read about the loss of your mother. Having just recently lost my father, I know how you must be feeling.

    Sending sincere condolances to you, Brian.

  • Hi Kelly

    So sad to read that your Mum has passed away and the forum will still be here for you if you need some support. My condolences at this very sad time for you and the family.  Jules