Support

I have just found this site and feel blessed to read your posts and be part of this.  My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer yesterday at the age of 74.  My husband, who I met when I was 16 is also terminally ill with acute, chronic heart failure. I'm in shreds and feel guilty because I'm crying not only for myself, but for what I've already been through and what I have to face.. My Dad has been my rock from birth and I always thought he would be there forever. I do cannot bear the thought of him being in pain.

Thank you for reading.

  • Hi

    Welome to the forum though sad to read the reason you need to be here.  You have an awful lot to take in just now.  Not only caring for your husband but the new diagnosis for your Dad so am not surprised you are feeling rough.  This forum supported me through my husband's three year cancer journey and is still a virtual 'crutch' which I am grateful for.  Please do not feel guilty (been there so know its not easy) for we all need to release the emotions/frustrations/fears  that we have to face as we cope with our changing lives and those we love.  Come and offload on the forum if you want to. 

    My Dad passed away over 8 years ago now (prostate/lung cancer) and though a little older that you Dad his pain, when he admitted to it, was controlled very well as there are many different drugs that can be taken. 

    Sending a virtual hug at this difficult time for you all and hope you have family/friends who can help support you to.  Jules54

  • After being woken by a huge thunder storm, yet again I am grateful to be able to reach out, knowing there is someone out there who understands. 

    Day 2 today since diagnosis. Thank for mentioning about your Dad's pain relief and how it was controlled well. Finding inner strength to support my Dad, who is Chinese and was recently diagnosed with diabetes. Knowledge given and understanding taken from this website is invaluable, especially when awake in the early hours!

    Deep breathes....

  • Hi

    Like you was awake early due to the storm (and the usual difficulty in sleeping).  I am still amazed at where we all somehow find the strength to 'manage' such difficult times. I try to stay in the 'now' and coping day to day has almost become my new journey.You are doing and am sure would always do whatever you can manage to support those loved ones around you but must try to take a little time for yourself too.  The emotional turmoil needs release and crying is a natural way to do this.

    There are many on this forum and nearly always someone to reach out to for support and I find it helped a lot just to write down my feelings as often when I read them back I understood more (even about myself if that makes sense).

    My Mum has diabetes (diagnosed in her early seventies) amongst many other ailments and hopefully with good GP monitoring this will be managed alongside any other treatments your Dad may be given.

    Well, with all that rain last night at least I will not have to lug the watering can around the garden later.Today I am going with my children/grandchildren for a day out and am looking foward to a change of scene in the countryside.

    Peaceful thoughts are sent to you. Jules

  • I really feel for you.    Hope that gives you a shred of comfort at this awful time.