My father was diagnosed with Stage iV esophageal cancer in April 2015. He has a tumor to the lining of his esophagus, secondary mets to the liver and stomach lining. 

The consultant could only suggest chemotherapy to prolong his life and shrink the tumor. 

After the first round of chemotherapy treatment in May 2015, my dad caught an infection 7 days later. I arrived home from SEAsia to spend 4 weeks at home on June 6th 2015. It just so happens that he went into hospital on June 7th with severe vomiting, diarrohea and dehydration. We learnt several days later that he was very close to death and this may be the cause of his chemotherapy treatment being too high for his body weight and height. My dad has lost weight dramatically, and not eating or drinking.

After various IV fluids and glucose replacements, he was discharged from hospital into a hospice for rest-bite and to regain strength. Before he left the hospital, he was told that the hospice is purely for rest, so that he can regain his strength and learn how to eat again. The hospice were fantastic to my Dad, and tried to work around his eating symptoms - he would only eat jelly and ice cream, sometimes a little soup. 

After a few days at the hospice, a nurse called us into the family room to inform us that my Dad is not improving and he is too weak to ever go back to chemotherapy. She said that his liver is failing to extract the goodness from any food/fluids that are put down into stomach and therefore his body is growing weaker each day. She said to prepare for the next two weeks. As you can imagine, considering this start only 3 months ago - we are all devastated and feel cheated that my Dad has not been able to put up a fight. 

My dad was discharged from the hospice as he wanted to go home. He is now being cared for by the palliative nurse team who come in everyday and my step mum. He is now on a 24/7 syringe driver, that inserts antisickness and morphine into his body to relieve any pain. He is very weak and unable to walk except for a few steps each day. He falls asleep on the sofa when talking to you and his appetite has not improved. He has said numerous times that his mouth is very dry and cannot seem to get enough liquid, no matter how much he drinks. 

I am due to fly back to SEAsia on 3rd July. It is the most difficult decision of my life on whether to stay or leave. I am only 25 years old, and to see my dad in Thailand at a family wedding looking so healthy in February, to this condition four months later is soul destroying. My Dad and I are close and he wants me to fly back and carry on living a normal life. He said I must make the right decision for me, not for him. My dad and myself have said everything we wish to say to each other and I know I will have no regrets in this area, when he eventually passes away. 

He has requested that he does not want to know how long he has, which makes this difficult for me to talk to him. I want to be with him and care for him until his final days, but know that there is nothing I can do except make tea and plump his pillows, which he already has being done by my step mum and various nurses and neighbors visiting. I am also aware that if I stay, and quit my life in Thailand - I am letting my Dad know how much time he has, without giving him the verbal answer. 

Dad does not seem like he is leaving us as soon as the nurse has suggested. Can anyone give me indication of how long he has other than what the nurse has informed us? Yesterday he managed to walk up two flights of stairs, and sit out in the sun for an hour in a wheelchair sipping beer! He was exhausted after getting outside and slept as soon he came home. He is still not back to eating properly or drinking. Yesterday he only ate 1/2 biscuit, 1/2 cup of soup and three chips. He is on Nutrijuce nutrition drinks - and should be drinking 2 a day. At the moment he is only managing 1/2 of 1 bottle.

I know this is only a decison I can make, but it would be nice to hear from anyone who has heard of or can relate to a situation of living abroad and making the decision of when the right time is to say goodbye. My Dad is my friend, as well as a father and the thouht of losing him so young is unbearable.