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Feeling helpless.

Ophelia.Baggins
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Hi, 

I'm twenty, me and my mum have recently been told that she has a maximum life expectancy of 2-5 years. She's a single mum and it has always been the two of us. I'm away at university but have come home for the first time since the news, this weekend. She is putting on a brave front, but  in the evenings she breaks down and shows me how scared she is. She says that the tumour is really hurting and she's scared that she will not be able to walk. She tells me about how casually the doctor told her the life expectancy and how hurt she was by that. I have found some support groups and yoga classes etc to try to make sure she has a lot of people around her. I was just wondering what else there is to help people in this situation? Is anyone able to recommend something to help her with the fear that must be so consuming every day? I am terrified of her being afraid and having to know this. I love her so much and am so scared.

I am truely grateful for any help or ideas,

love Jodie. 

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    Well let's start by holding you and mum in our hearts. This is such a terrible shock you all must be reeling from the news. 

    So here are kindness flowing over to you all. 

    You are right,  Jodie -there are groups for mum to join and find friendship and support. You can learn these from the hospital cancer centre. Mum may also find help from the macmillan nurses and dieticians.  

    This isa time for closeness and love and fun.it is not a bad time no matter how scary it seems. These things happen some times-although they shouldn't.  Cancer is just yet another illness that can afflict the body. In that way we can deal with it better.cancer always sounds terrible.  Life span is always approximate and if mum is upset by the doctor- then prove him wrong ! Go for much longer and don't forget every year new and better treatments are coming out.

    In the end It is a new journey,  just when you need mum-this has come in to change things.let me hold you. Your relationship will not change,  mum is very proud of you and will always be there for you. She wants you to do well at uni. 

    There are no big answers and there will be times when all you want to do is scream. Come here for strength and understanding.tell mum we will all care for her and help what we can

    Xx steven

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    I can relate to you as my moms just been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and its ripping me apart you kind of have to stay strong but inside your just aching and your mom probley doesnt want to upset you youve just got to be their for each other have you tried macmillan the GP is another port of call and also the samritans are really good if you need a chat dont hesertate to contact me as i know how hard this is.

    love mary.

  • Offline in reply to MARY80

    Hi Jodie

    Welcome to Cancer Chat.

    I'm glad you have received such a warm welcome from Mary and Steve.

    Don't forget too everyone, that our nurses are only a phone call away. 

    You can call the team free from UK landlines and most mobile phones on 0808 800 4040 from Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.

    Best wishes

    Jane

     

  • Offline in reply to brighteyes

    Thank you very much for your kind words, Steven. We will very much hope to prove the doctor wrong and if we can't make the most of our time. Thank you, Jodie xx

  • Offline in reply to MARY80

    Dear Mary, 

    Your words are exactly what it has been like, I am so sorry that you are facing this too. I have found support groups now through Macmillan and some free yoga classes and I think she has been enjoying them. Thank you so much for your suggestions. I know we have to be strong for our mums, but please let yourself depend on others too. Thank you for your kindness and the same applies if you ever need to talk

    Love Jodie x

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