feeling helpless

How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped my dad has cancer recently diagnosed my mam is sorting all appointments and looking after him as she has for two years since his heart attack we both want to help him but he will go to his appointments but doesn't want to talk about it or acknowledge it which I understand I don't think I would either but even asking him if he's OK he he doesn't want sympathy and tells everyone he wants to be left alone I keep trying to give him his space but its only been three days and I'm pulling my hair out even find it hard just to text and just say silly things like do u like this film I bought just to talk but I know he doesn't want to talk sorry for such along question 

Parents
  • Hi Nat,

    It is such a shock to be told you or a loved one has cancer, but we all deal with it our own way. I found it especially hard to tell my grown up children about my diagnosis. I didn't want them to be upset. Maybe he just wants to be as normal as he can right now, so he can sort out how he feels about it. Hard for everyone around I know, as you probably want to help urgently. Clearly he's not ok, he's coming to terms with the news he's had. Clearly your not ok, you want to fight this monster with him. Things will change as time passes the news wont seem so raw and once his doctors have a plan for treatment he will feel there is a way forward. So will you.

    Wishing you all well

    Aemi x

Reply
  • Hi Nat,

    It is such a shock to be told you or a loved one has cancer, but we all deal with it our own way. I found it especially hard to tell my grown up children about my diagnosis. I didn't want them to be upset. Maybe he just wants to be as normal as he can right now, so he can sort out how he feels about it. Hard for everyone around I know, as you probably want to help urgently. Clearly he's not ok, he's coming to terms with the news he's had. Clearly your not ok, you want to fight this monster with him. Things will change as time passes the news wont seem so raw and once his doctors have a plan for treatment he will feel there is a way forward. So will you.

    Wishing you all well

    Aemi x

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