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Feeling my Dad has Advanced cancer.

mower
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My Dad has an ulcer under his tongue so after 2weeks his GP sent him to see a consultant at hospital within a week & told us it was not an ulcer but cancer & that my Dad has had it a long time not just 2 weeks & it was under his teeth & in his jaw as well, he said it was big (over 3cm I think)  he is waiting for a biopsy, cat scan & he already had a full blood test on the day,my Dad didn't ere all of it.Consultant said it would take 4 weeks & if I had any questions  but I couldn't think at the time. My Dad was 76 on the 14.04.15  & his appointment was the same day.He in as lost weight because he's not eating as he's in a lot of pain plus having difficulty chewing & some times he is finding it hard to talk, he is now on stronger painkillers & morphine as well, he has toothache & ear ache as well as not having any energy in him as that's not him. I know there will be no treatment for him as not in good health plus they would of got him tested by now. I am only just holding it together as I'm with him every day so it's going to be so hard when we find out it is & knowing I will lose him one day, just don't know how to cope with it.

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    Hi mower

    Dont give up hope that nothing can be done for your dad, its really common to have no questions to ask at the time. But write down the questions that have come to mind since and ask to see someone at the hospital who can answer them, it needn't be the consultant. Also ask for some nutritional supplements, to try and keep your dads weight up and help him not be so tired. Theres help to be had but you need to make the phone call to get it in motion. All the best for both of you.

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    Hi Mower, so sorry this has happened to your dad.

    You can contact the macmillan nurse assigned to your dad to ask questions. She may not have the answers immediately but will find out what she can, and may also help with other things you are in need of. 

    I think your dad and you and your family can get counciling to help you during this difficult time if you ask too. Sometimes we need to lean on others a bit when times are hard.

    Thinking of you and your dad and wishing him well

    Aemi x

  • Offline in reply to kimchoson

    Thanks for getting back to me,he is having his cat scan today but still not got appointment for his biopsy yet, just so hard keeping it together as I keep getting upset all the time.

  • Offline in reply to aemi

    Thank you for your reply its so hard seeing him in pain & thinking how long I have with him, but got a load of questions to ask his consultant when we get an appointment but don't know when that will be as he has cat scan today & not heard any think about him going for his biopsy yet, it's just a waiting game & it feel like they are taking forever.

  • Offline in reply to mower

    Hi Mower,

    I know the wait seems sooo long for appointments and tests When you want to rush in and sort it all out. If you are worried that you haven't heard about an appointment you can always ring and check that they have it in hand. 

    Sending hugs for you both

    Aemi x

  • Offline in reply to mower

    Hi mower

    Just caught up with your thread as have been away for a few days.  The waiting period for appointments can be very frustrating but if you and  your Dad have concerns before an appointment comes through (especially as regards his eating/pain relief) do contact his GP.  When my husband was in between appointments we were advised by his hospital team to contact his GP and then they could arrange support services to call where necessary. It worked well for us and hope can for you too. I found the whole journey a real rollercoaster of emotions and this forum helped enormously when the need to offload or discuss things.

    The site also has a free telephone line to the nurses if you are in the UK (from landlines and some mobile networks (telephone number on this page) if you would like to talk things through on a more personal level. All the very best.Jules54

  • Offline in reply to aemi

    hi Aemi, thanks 4 getting back 2 me my Dad had his ct scan 2 day & then i got a call saying he has his biopsy on wednesday at 12,don't know if they will put him under & keep him over night will find out more on the day u take care x

     

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules54

    Got a call saying he will have his biopsy on wednesday at 12 so i will find out more when get there, as i don't know if they will keep him in over night & then tell him there finding the next day just have 2 see, thanks 4 getting back 2 me & u take care x

  • Offline in reply to mower

    Hi

    Glad that you now know when the biopsy will take place. I have no medical knowledge but when my husband had his biopsy, his appointment was in the morning and he was home after around 4hrs (he did not want me to go with him and drove himself there and back). It was nearly two weeks later that he had next appointment to discuss findings(after the examination of whatever was taken away during the procedure) and forward planning.  Would certainly recommend that you write down any questions you may have (and the replies that you receive) as so often the mind goes blank when you are trying to take everything in. Jules

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Thank you Jules

    This is a great help to me got everything down on paper ready, you take care x

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