Hi Kessy,

Im sorry to hear he is getting worse.

I can only speak from experiance with my nan.

My nan did become like this, and after a week or so become bed ridden as she kept falling when trying to walk.

Once she was bedridden she was taken into hospital after a bad fall when trying to move about, and they mostly kept asleep with pain killers.

After a while in hospital, I think it was around a week, she was moved into a hospice where they made her comfortable and she passed after a few days. They said they were moving her as she was nearing the end.

In the hospice they kept her asleep so she looked peacefull until the end.

Im am sorry you are having to go through this, this decase is terrible and I prey a day comes when they stop it in its tracks.

Regards Space.

Hi Space,

Thanks for your reply - even though what you say has panicked me a bit with the speed of decline that you describe your nan experiencing, it is comforting to know that she was kept comfortable until the end. I don't think my dad's in too much actual pain at the moment, just discomfort and he's getting very fed up with feeling so weak now. Still horrible to see, I can't remember him not being ill now. Hopefully in the future all the good memories will come back.

I just have to keep on keeping on for all the family...

K x

Hi Kessygirl,

Sorry to hear about your dads deteriation. It is so difficult watching someone we love slowly fading away and the most gaulling part is knowing there is nothing we can do to stop it. We experiance such a wide range of powerful emotions at times like this; frustration, anger, sadness, helplessness, even self pity which can sometime make us feel selfish as we are not the one with the cancer. It is so hard trying to show a brave face when inside we are in complete turmiol.

There is one thing you wrote about not remembering a time when he wasnt ill. I can tell you from experiance that that will pass in time. I felt exactly the same when my mother was in her last day from breast cancer. But now eight years later, I remember the good times and the laughs we used to have. I still remember the time whe she was poorly of course but memories of that time have faded into the background now.

Sending kind thoughs and best wishes your way, Brian.

Hi Brian,

Thanks so much for what you said. I think we're probably down to days now, he hasn't eaten in three days and is sleeping most of the time. My poor mum is still a superstar but she did get upset with me on the phone earlier - which I'm pleased about as she is just a bit too strong. Friends and family are popping in left, right and centre which helps her.  I'm going again tomorrow (dreading it but have to face it and be strong for them both). Hoping for a peaceful, dignified end for him. Too weird to contemplate really, but it's happening and there ain't nothing I can do to stop it! K x

Hi Kessygirl

Have just come caught up with your thread having been offline for a few days and am saddened to read that  your Dad's condition is worsening.  My husband died in January (and our kids their Dad) and he could only get out of bed with assistance for the last few days. It is so very hard to watch a loved one end their life's journey but I found comfort in being able to talk with him and having family around during the final days was enormously supportive for us all.  Like others have said I was relieved by the knowledge that his medical team kept him comfortable and he told me he was not afraid of death (hated being 'disabled' by the illness more). He was unable to get out of bed without help for the last few days of his life, did not eat and strugged with drinking(only sips really and our district nurses supplied us with 'moisture lollies that he could suck on) and his passing was very peaceful. (he chatted with the family during the day and his grandchildren played around the bed which had been moved into our lounge.

Nearly four months on since I lost my husband (and 7 years since my Dad) I do draw comfort from the good memories I was lucky to make during their lifetimes and in time you will do so too.

Too many emotions to go through here and be assured many of us understand all you are experiencing just now and I found the forum a good place to be during my hubby's journey and passing.Sending an understand virtual hug and may you all find peace in the days/weeks ahead.  Jules x