Mother in law has AML

 

Hello,  I'm really looking for some advice and support and hoping you can help....

My Mother in law (74) was diagnosed with AML in November 2014 due to her age she is not able to have intensive chemo and instead was started on low dose chemo (tablets) and also Azacitidine therapeutic treatment. The Dr said that she would have a year at best with treatment.

Since then we've only managed to complete one full cycle of Azacitdine in Decmeber 2014. It's been a constant battle since then with low HB and Platelets. She has had several bleeds and hospital admissions. She is now in the middle of the 2nd cycle but has had another bleed after the 2nd dose. She is having twice weekly platelet transfusion and it just seems like the disease is wining

Since her last hospital admission it seems like she has just given up. She has stopped leaving the house unless it's a trip to the hospital, has lost interest in personal hygiene  ( usually an immaculately dressed woman) she is dependant on anxiety tablets and has had countless panick attacks about the simplest of things ie preparing a sandwich. She is literally just sitting on the sofa and is quite happy for others to do everything for her.     She's just given up. It doesnt help that she won't talk about the illness and just seems easily irritated. I'm the cancer nurses that we have do not answer our calls and we just feel unsupported  and just waifor the next problem to crop up. The Macmillan nurse s that we have access to don't return our calls and have not given us hardly any input apart from the day of the diagnosis. We are feeling unsupported and forgotten about. Any advice or support would be much appreciated. Thank you KAren  x

 

 

 

  • Hi Karen

    Welcome to the forum but sorry to read the reason you need to join.  It is so difficult watching and waiting when a loved one has an incurable cancer/illness (in my case my husband).  I answered because I fully relate to the not talking/disinterest in personal self that you describe. In my husband's case it was mainly due to him having to lose the job he loved and he felt worthless (though he knew he was so much loved by those around him) and then he got fed up with being told to enjoy the quality of life he had whilst he had it (by his medical team who, I have to say, were fully supportive and tried everything to motivate him). In the latter months of his life I looked after his personal hygiene (he was early 60's) as he needed reminding to wash, change clothes, eat.  He was depressed by his illness but would not talk about it (too emotive).  Sadly its a shame that you feel let down by his medical/nursing support (we were blessed with caring consultant, gp and support staff the nearly three years following diagnosis).  I think your first port of call would be to the GP (if your mother in law gives permission for them to speak with you)  to explain your concerns and request assessment (we were given community/district nurses to oversea my husband's condition between hospital appointment). We did not have much contact with the McMillan nurse whose workload was just too much to cope (though I did use the drop in centre at our local hospita/hospicel for information and some support (husband knew but would not access it himself).Its a sad fact that sometimes you have to badger on behalf of the sufferer (who has lost interest) and remember its because you care and want the best for your loved one. I hope you can get some support and also that you find the forum a good place to share your feelings.Jules54